I can’t remember who once told me the secret of life! I chuckle when I think about how as a youngster, just beginning life’s journey, we can go so wide-eyed into the unknown directed by such poorly explained and misinterpreted visions. The voice, that of a person who at the time in my estimation must know a bit about life, (he already seemed a bit long in the tooth …a person of some age) seemed confident and held back no joy in relating his perception of the future. What we learn in those moments mainly depends upon our past. Have you ever noticed that? We run up against problems, questions and situations that need clear and succinct definitions, and yet they often elude us. Many are the times in my somewhat adventurous life that I have run that course, been approached by those varying circumstances and found myself weighed, measured and have been found wanting, this due to that advice being “the secret of life”.
Say what? You mean I haven’t told you what the secret was yet? I often digress, as many of you, who read my scribble well know. OK, let’s get back to the beginning! That person, an older friend that I worked with was trying to be helpful; “kinda like” my Mother, who used to tell us that aiming for the horizon may only cause us to crash when we get there. Her take was, “Aim for the stars!” I guess it might have been a reflection on the age which we were born into. After all, it was not long before we were given television pictures of the first man on the moon, other than that cheesy guy who stared down at us on clear nights during its fullness, and in all its glory. The post-war era brought changes that outpaced most of society, and the ability to adjust fully to those changes might have bent the benchmark of morals and mores far beyond where it had been in perhaps more than just a few generations. On the other hand, it may be that many of those hidden secrets now found a more relaxed and accepted entry into daily life.
I grew up with poetry in my heart and music on my mind… little else. Where was I headed with that one!? There were so many questions to dispense and too few who were eager to give straight answers. “If I tell you then you will know and what fun is there in that!” “Life becomes the playground upon which only the strong survive” and “Life is but a stage and we the players on it!” Ok… I am paraphrasing Shakespeare in that last one, but you get the drift. Any answers that match either our personal focus (mindset at the time) or our hopes are not always forthcoming when needed, or more to the point, perhaps when we want them at any stage in our lives. So there I was, a mere fledgeling in life, and those words just seem to ring true for some reason. I was a bit of a misfit in many ways I have to admit. Back then I was either being beaten up or having someone spit in my face just for something to do; anything to ridicule the little “goodie-goodie” it was said. So I became a bit of a radical. It wasn’t a self-proclaimed banner draped across my chest; and I wasn’t one to get a tattoo, which is surprising to say the least.
I was just a guy searching for some answers and along the way, I wanted to help people, something that later in life can cause great stress and turmoil in your soul. That is oft the road less taken, by most, it seems. OK, OK… what did that guy say that either changed my life or did it really happen at all? Here’s the skinny and perhaps it has been your experience as well; hearing this advice. “We are standing in a room with lots of doors and the one you choose will make all the difference in your future… Make sure you choose the right door!” The question remains, “Great! How is one to know which one?” A wise ol’ counsellor in High School once reminded me that we plot our course into the future at a young age. Then he gave me a series of tests, a standard at the time and students perhaps still take them today. These tests would give insight into my aptitudes and from that, we could plan what courses to take, what majors to follow and voila, I would be on the way to security and happy life. Easy right? I laugh now, reflecting on the liquid ease with which advice was given to us mere chunks of putty waiting to be moulded and shaped by our scholastic “maestro”. An easy future… SURE! I don’t mean to sound harsh or cynical about life here...no really I don’t! One teacher once told me as we walked down the hallway one lunchtime, “Never let school interfere with your education!” Now that was great advice.
So, there still remain those doors and the quandary presented by their presence. I’ve seen lots of doors and lots of roads having lots of forks found in them and paths that have held fewer footprints along them. Sometimes the nomadic spirit has called me down a few of those trails only to find that they were rabbit paths to some hole, likely a den, and brought only disappointment. Others thankfully have brought great joy, interspersed by times with the inevitable bout of rainy weather; floods of tears or as many like to call it, “a bit of leaking tear ducts t’is all!” Having chosen one, only to return to the room to once again choose another, you soon learn that no matter the door, life is what you make it and the door is not the problem, it is more about the person who walks through one, that matters.
I’ve told you the old story about the teenager wanting a job and applied at a hardware store, only to find that he was given his first job with the knowledge that it would be on a trial basis. He was taken to an upstairs room and told to clean up and sort thousands of nails, screws, nuts, washer, etc., as a major section of an old bin system had fallen over, spilling out the contents, mixing everything up. He laboured for days and finally at noon came to the owner and said he was finished. The old gentleman smiled and said, “I figured you wouldn’t last, nobody has for a long time, but I thank you for at least trying… you can pick up your pay before you go home!” “Why no”, the young man then said; sir I have finished the job and was wondering what I should do next”. The old man climbed the stairs and finding all in excellent order hired the young lad on a permanent part-time basis, on the spot! You know that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade… right?
So, where does the idea of diminishing returns come into the picture? Without again seeming too cynical about life, because I am truly not in that frame of mind for sure, there have been those moments. Varied as my past has been, bashed, beaten and defeated on more sides and on more occasions than I like to remember, there has always been a central plea for which my heart has longed. I just wanted to be loved, truly loved. Through all the flaws, warts and shortcomings that I have, not much in my early life brought me too close to that reality and I am not treading that path again. The past behind me a new door opening up before me, I strode off towards a new beginning and ready to make it work. That has been the key to success, (should I define it like that?); it that is how I would want to gauge my life in terms of credence or some level of credibility.
Life can have such great starts and we have everything in fluid motion. All is well until something crashes and burns, and then perhaps there are many moments of doubt. As most of you know by now, it happens to the best of us. Out of the ashes of life sometimes comes the most beautiful of vistas. Maybe a voice has once said, “Strange, in all those years while that lovely house stood there I didn’t know there was such a beautiful vista behind it!” We don’t always see the greater picture. While enthralled in the moments which are adding life and bringing joy, it is oft not necessary to look beyond what is before our faces. Who could know that those childbearing years, with all the struggles out-crowned by the many more joys, could be blessed by a gaggle of grandchildren who bring prayerfully so much joy into our lives, if that is our fortune? I am dealing with life on the edge once again just now. Losing old friends, who are not old, holds little joy, but here once again near the edge and with a clearer unobstructed view, I am at least able to live beyond the pain of the loss and be reminded of the joy of each blessing they have given.
We start life not knowing the future, and we can, (but not always) from time to time get filled up with the best of the best; even so, life never guarantees eternal earthly bliss. My take on life is that we need only be assured of one future and that has little to do with this world and more to do with faith in the next. I think some days about how easy it used to be to get up each morning, hop into clothing and take on the world. These days, in the ensuing “golden years” I am more like that piece of prose from an anonymous source, “My get-up-and-go has got up and went!” maybe even wondering where it all went or more to the point how it went so fast and nowadays the unsettling fact that it is going faster all the time. Oh, I can accomplish most of the things I could 20 years ago, but it mostly take me so much longer to do it and I am still dreaming dreams and working on them constantly!
Life never owed me a living, never promised me a great castle in which to live and never once said that I would never cry again. I’ve lost loved ones, agonized over those I loved yet in whom never found love being returned. It’s easy to be crushed by the world's traps and pitfalls, but when the house of cards have crashed about us, there still remains that one thing… a beautiful vista that is the future. I feel my heart pains for others pain and I told a friend of late that this goes with an empathetic spirit. Days do come when you take one step ahead and fall 3 steps back; we gain, we lose, we win and then we lose, we try and then we fail, but life is not a “failure”, never ever. Life is not just a stage and we the men and women upon it. Life is a preparation, a proving ground and those moments when we are filled with joy, have the world by the tail (and not just as fleeting moments), it is proof that good does exists and we are part of its being so (an old way of putting that I realize).
I must remember,” it’s who I am”, a part of a nature that I do not control… it is God-given. Not all memories are great ones, but they are mine to be benchmarks for a final measurement of what life has been. Moving on by getting up and continuing for as long as God gives me life, is my plan. Little is gained by crying in my soup, if I am to be what I am to be for “the others” still here, still loving and still accepting of all my warts and wobbles. Today may not be the “best” for you… It may, in fact, be the worst in your mind! But you have been granted today and perhaps a tomorrow… it is a door there to be opened, or many doors. I often say they are as varied as they are many. You must take one, or die in the submission to defeat and that is not your path, it is not your door… God has a greater plan for you! You’ve heard the saying, “Today is a GIFT that is why it is called the PRESENT”.
Don’t look down beyond the edge… look up and smile… Can you see it? Perhaps the joys and blessings of what was before you have just hidden something even better, or as much of a blessing, yet to come. Be blessed… Jeremiah 29:11 says,” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
All that is left to do is keep on investing in life… it is not a diminishing return no matter the critical state it seems in just now. “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.” I am praying for you!
