It has been years since I have really felt out of control. That sounds so strange as I look at my life and see it actually written on the page. For years I have struggled against the passions which have led me to sometimes making wrong decisions. I have viewed life from most sides and concluded that what I really needed was that solidarity in my life, that brought the most peace. I have concluded that the more I seek my own solace in life, the more out of control life became.
How can there be a lack of control when the very essence of life in ministry holds that supposed calm that is expected by those under our care? Well, it is a long hard journey to that place where the skin remains supple, while able to withstand the worst that life in the human journey can offer. I have felt many times in ministry the tug of depression on the very pit of my heart. I have known the awfulness of looking into the abyss and not knowing what the future will hold for me and my dear wife, as the challenges of expectation, personal disappoint or even attack became more than real. Why that happens is simple. I, like those in this calling known as Pastoral Ministry, (and many others too... I know) have to face daily the problems, hurts, angers, misconceptions, questions and rage of a human life that can explode, cry, collapse in illness or death, become lost in either the complexity of the system or in the identity of their human existence, at any given time, as they face their own realities of life.
The question often arrises for me... what do I do next. The context of the problem first has to be separated from my personal views. I evaluate the reasons for what is taking place, where the basic needs before me are best served and then ask myself if I am being totally objective about what I am seeing and finding. There is a difference always. Objectivity creates for me a different view of what is not only happening, but what can or should happen. Too many times in my life I have stood on the edge of life’s situations and only felt the subjective stress, which I could easily have turned into that angry person that once lived in me and controlled almost every decision I made, until I was over my teenage years... even since then I have struggled lots of times to not lapse back to the old life.
Am I staring back into the abyss again? Do I not acknowledging daily that I need to release myself again to my Faith and not to my emotions. Certainly I am... I am facing the demons that dwell in the innermost part of the human life... a desire to fight back, to get even, to stop the constant charge of those who would challenge me, undermine my control and cloud the true issues of what need to be done, by their negative take on most things. I enjoy ministry until those around me are constantly on the prowl for something to complain about, something to dismantle or even discard for new and more liberal views of life, beyond where my faith lies.
The feelings I am examining today in my life are those same feelings that every person who walks among the hurting, searching and lost of humanity feels. It is the inability of a single person to meet all the needs. It is the silent cry, which held in defines the professional level of the work being done, while it tears at the very fabric of who we are, both socially and personally. There is little human salve for the open wounds, too few venues for the outlet needed for those things which bring fragility to the person finding themselves reeling amidst the endless expectations and battles daily faced... unless there is a person to which you can turn. So there is the hope. The knowledge that there is someone who not only hears, but understands. I am fortunate that I have not only a human helpmate that cares, hears and prays for me, but a Wonderful God who knows my sorrows and even though he knows I walk alone in some respects, I know I am never alone... He is always there, sometimes carrying me.
So why do those feelings come into my life of from time to time? Is it the long hours, the very challenging work I have undertaken, the size of debt that certainly brings its challenges or is it my lack of surrender. Well, as I view my life and my sense of work ethic, I know that I can take on too much, put too much of my personal effort into the concerns that should not be under my purview, but that comes with the job. I know that I take too seriously the idea that I am sent of God and I must work as if there is no tomorrow. I feel the pain of those under my care and I carry it and I should let God carry it for them.. He already has. But I can not leave behind the responsibility to help those I can. I have to learn once again not to carry it home with me and deal with the calls as they come, the disappointments as they arise, the complaints and misunderstanding as I face them, and not take it personally. That is the key... not taking it personally, because when I do I go out of control.
So back to the basics I go. Back to the time away from the fray, back to the time when I took rest and captured the reality of what was happening around me. It is time to give my life back to Him who gave me life in the beginning and then a new life in service for Him. I have seen the edge more than once in my life, I have been challenged on many sides and these days are challenging to say the least. But, I am not lost.. Near the edge of my control level yes, but I have the sense of self identity that I am nothing, but for God. I can challenge the abyss and not lose hope or focus. That is what living near the edge is all about. Staring into that which may seem beyond all skill and ability, can be healing when we surrender, not to fate, but to true strength that comes in our weakness when we ask Him for it. After all, I have been there and come back, I have tasted and it was good, I have seen the face of the abyss and now I have no fear.
I pray for those who stare out into the loss of control in their lives. It is not a pleasant place and can be brought on by so many triggers in life. Near the edge is not over the edge. We have an opportunity to focus on what brings peace not turmoil. Loss of control is a terrible place to be and peace is the beauty of the quiet we feel when we let go of those things in life that love to trigger a response and give them to God. Don’t regret the walk, living near the edge can be healing depending on how you define the view from there.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Characteristically Uncharacteristic
Not long ago I was asked a question to which I gave an unacceptable answer.... at least in terms of the acceptance by the person asking the question. It was a simple enough question, I would think, for the person who had either “an answer” or more importantly “the answer.” But I am finding the complexity of life to be a little too much for me sometimes of late, so I am more likely to say; “I don’t know!” I used to be filled with answers. I was the “Answer King”. I had an opinion on everything. Give me a subject and I was off to the debate. I was young! What I didn’t know could be placed in a few small volumes, the rest I was sure I knew... or at least thought I did anyway!
What changed suddenly? Was it the constant challenges in the workplace from my peers, the growing knowledge that there are those out there who might know more answers than I did, or the view of technology and information changing at a pace far greater than my absorption rate these days? The answer for some may be a challenge, but not for me. I became tired of always trying to keep up. So, I stepped back, began to look at my life and evaluate the process of staying abreast of all there is and my relationship to it. After all, I had chased life for 50 years and the learning curve has taken its toll. My bones they grow weary and the elasticity of youth has begun to stiffen and become brittle. Get this... I look at the sunrise more than I used to and I see the handiwork of God etched in the vistas along the highway. I see things that I can not change and I imagine the finger of God reshaping all this into the beauty of His Glory in a new Heaven and New earth.
There are going to be those who will read “this” blog and equate that the ol’ fella is losing it... He is looking at retirement and reflection has made way for anxiety and depression about growing old. Well, I have news for all you who are about to drop to your knees, run for your prayer closets or lift me to the Lord, as you hesitate in your reading... God is not finished with this old cat just yet.... that is not what this is about. I am seeing new things every day and well being characteristically uncharacteristic is the way I usually go about things of late.
Most people who think they know me, have had trouble figuring me out through the years. It may come from the background of my youth. It may come from the diversity of my experience, which as a great blessing has led me down many exciting and uplifting paths and across many physical and geographic boundaries. You see what one person experiences in life may be vastly different from another. We too often limit our definitions of what is going on because we have seen life differently and this can bring limitations to those definitions, which can bring the context and relevance of some choices or decisions under scrutiny or suspicion by some. I am, as I grow older, not as worried about the suspicions of others, though I would rather be accepted by everyone immediately for sure... Hey, I am human. I kind lady said to me not long ago about meeting me and how the first inclination she and her husband had, was to just accept me as another nice man who preaches, but have since had opportunity to really get to know me. One could assume that depth of human connectivity and interest might make the difference, but not always. There are limitations drawn in our life definitions as well, and they may take more than passing acquaintance to bridge and build into something meaningful and important.
So how do you feel today? Where are you efforts heading? Has life borne the image that you once dreamed possible in your childhood, youth, young adulthood toward maturity? I suspect that many or most of us have, in our maturation, grown beyond our youthful expectations and felt the influences upon our lives both positive and negative. What those influences have been and how we have dealt, and continue to deal with them, will have directed our definitions, emotions and thus our interests and focus in life. As we deal in the stresses of keeping up, meeting the expectations of others and then finding our way each day, there are those characteristics which God forms and shapes which will I pray, make us more like Him.
I want to fade each day, that Christ might shine brighter through my life. But this complication arises from that exercise. The human heart looks to the image of the earthly to understand the heavenly. I find myself under more scrutiny, a heavier load of expectation with physical responsible for more lives, emotions and wounds... just because I am open to His will, under His grace and am trying to be His voice, hands and feet in today’s world. So, the cycle of seed, water and fruit co-exist in my life. I plant seeds, I water and I bear the Fruit of the Spirit in hopes that something I say or do may draw someone to Christ or cause them to look deeper at their faith and long for a closer walk with Him. That often causes people therefore to put more focus on me before they begin to focus on God in Christ Jesus. So my life has become a constant round of characteristically uncharacteristic events that seem so unlike who and what I used to be as I search for a better me under the will and direction of His Holy Spirit. How and how well I preform under daily stress depends fully on my relationship with God each day.
Are you struggling to find your way today? Well, welcome to life near the edge. You see, we are all struggling at one level or another. If you are struggling at many levels on many sides, then it is time to become characteristically uncharacteristic and make some changes in your life. Ask the Lord for direction, strength and courage to make changes whether drastic or subtle, that will reshape and remould you into His child, for His Kingdom’s glory. It may take time and courage... but the exercise alone is uplifting and healing... that constant reading of His Word and continual chats with Him who created and now sustains, can be so peaceful when taken in its stride. It will make all the difference in the world in your focus. But I warn you, when Jesus said, “If you want to follow me, it means taking up your cross daily”, and your heart seems to fail at the prospect of feeling worse, Jesus also said, “... my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Getting through life will have its complications, its disappointments and it scary moments, but God is there with us. I take solace in that and find courage for every step I take, once I take my eyes off the road and put them back on Him. Like I always say, “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
What changed suddenly? Was it the constant challenges in the workplace from my peers, the growing knowledge that there are those out there who might know more answers than I did, or the view of technology and information changing at a pace far greater than my absorption rate these days? The answer for some may be a challenge, but not for me. I became tired of always trying to keep up. So, I stepped back, began to look at my life and evaluate the process of staying abreast of all there is and my relationship to it. After all, I had chased life for 50 years and the learning curve has taken its toll. My bones they grow weary and the elasticity of youth has begun to stiffen and become brittle. Get this... I look at the sunrise more than I used to and I see the handiwork of God etched in the vistas along the highway. I see things that I can not change and I imagine the finger of God reshaping all this into the beauty of His Glory in a new Heaven and New earth.
There are going to be those who will read “this” blog and equate that the ol’ fella is losing it... He is looking at retirement and reflection has made way for anxiety and depression about growing old. Well, I have news for all you who are about to drop to your knees, run for your prayer closets or lift me to the Lord, as you hesitate in your reading... God is not finished with this old cat just yet.... that is not what this is about. I am seeing new things every day and well being characteristically uncharacteristic is the way I usually go about things of late.
Most people who think they know me, have had trouble figuring me out through the years. It may come from the background of my youth. It may come from the diversity of my experience, which as a great blessing has led me down many exciting and uplifting paths and across many physical and geographic boundaries. You see what one person experiences in life may be vastly different from another. We too often limit our definitions of what is going on because we have seen life differently and this can bring limitations to those definitions, which can bring the context and relevance of some choices or decisions under scrutiny or suspicion by some. I am, as I grow older, not as worried about the suspicions of others, though I would rather be accepted by everyone immediately for sure... Hey, I am human. I kind lady said to me not long ago about meeting me and how the first inclination she and her husband had, was to just accept me as another nice man who preaches, but have since had opportunity to really get to know me. One could assume that depth of human connectivity and interest might make the difference, but not always. There are limitations drawn in our life definitions as well, and they may take more than passing acquaintance to bridge and build into something meaningful and important.
So how do you feel today? Where are you efforts heading? Has life borne the image that you once dreamed possible in your childhood, youth, young adulthood toward maturity? I suspect that many or most of us have, in our maturation, grown beyond our youthful expectations and felt the influences upon our lives both positive and negative. What those influences have been and how we have dealt, and continue to deal with them, will have directed our definitions, emotions and thus our interests and focus in life. As we deal in the stresses of keeping up, meeting the expectations of others and then finding our way each day, there are those characteristics which God forms and shapes which will I pray, make us more like Him.
I want to fade each day, that Christ might shine brighter through my life. But this complication arises from that exercise. The human heart looks to the image of the earthly to understand the heavenly. I find myself under more scrutiny, a heavier load of expectation with physical responsible for more lives, emotions and wounds... just because I am open to His will, under His grace and am trying to be His voice, hands and feet in today’s world. So, the cycle of seed, water and fruit co-exist in my life. I plant seeds, I water and I bear the Fruit of the Spirit in hopes that something I say or do may draw someone to Christ or cause them to look deeper at their faith and long for a closer walk with Him. That often causes people therefore to put more focus on me before they begin to focus on God in Christ Jesus. So my life has become a constant round of characteristically uncharacteristic events that seem so unlike who and what I used to be as I search for a better me under the will and direction of His Holy Spirit. How and how well I preform under daily stress depends fully on my relationship with God each day.
Are you struggling to find your way today? Well, welcome to life near the edge. You see, we are all struggling at one level or another. If you are struggling at many levels on many sides, then it is time to become characteristically uncharacteristic and make some changes in your life. Ask the Lord for direction, strength and courage to make changes whether drastic or subtle, that will reshape and remould you into His child, for His Kingdom’s glory. It may take time and courage... but the exercise alone is uplifting and healing... that constant reading of His Word and continual chats with Him who created and now sustains, can be so peaceful when taken in its stride. It will make all the difference in the world in your focus. But I warn you, when Jesus said, “If you want to follow me, it means taking up your cross daily”, and your heart seems to fail at the prospect of feeling worse, Jesus also said, “... my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Getting through life will have its complications, its disappointments and it scary moments, but God is there with us. I take solace in that and find courage for every step I take, once I take my eyes off the road and put them back on Him. Like I always say, “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Fitting Into New Slots
You have likely heard that it is impossible to fit a square peg into a round hole. Well, some day it seems like I am that square peg. It is not that I don’t fit in anywhere, but I sometimes have a problem with the idea that I always have to fit everyone’s expectations, their mould of how things are to go or be done. Does that mean that I am a Maverick.... well, likely so. I was branded a radical as a young “Lad” a few years ago... Ok, ok, so it was more than a few years ago! I digress ( I am known for that as some of you will know)... which comes naturally for me.
It has been a stretch for me.... this new ministry. I was used to the layed-back style of rural ministry and as my friend Wayne told me, “You are not in Kansas any more Toto!” It is a bit of a culture shock to have so many needing so much .... ALL AT ONCE! But my moto has always been “one day at a time.” Now, I have to try to get it down to one item at a time as well. Things can bunch up on you, if you are not watching carefully. Since I am not as organized as some, .... Ok for all you Nay Sayers out there.... I am doing much better... thank you very much.... it takes me a tad longer to get to the mark some days, but I make it. Karen knows that my mind works in mysterious ways... more of a mystery to her most days than she would like I am sure.
So I have been kinda struggling of late. It may be due to the confusion of the move, it may be the boxes still unpacked, it may be that my new office in the home is a bathroom (no... it doesn’t have the fixtures... it barely has walls) or it may be that the idea of getting everything all done and in shape, is a daunting prospect for me just now, as I begin to think about going off to India again in February 2010.
So, am I a square peg, I wonder some days? Is it necessary for me, or anyone for that matter, to always meet some criteria which seems to be the image for the day, created in society for our family or fellowship circles. I know that my new Church Family seems very open to my newness for now, but will that continue I sometimes wonder. I am not the usual type of Pastor that is for sure!!! I come with a lot of varied experiences and some of those may lead people to think that I have answers, which I may or may not have,... but it is another slot! I love to help and that often leads to more expectations, more slots to fit into as people learn of my past .... does that mean that I should keep my past hidden? No, but it does mean that I have to be ready to examine the needs with wisdom and God’s direction before I overload my time ... or the time spent away from Karen, my family and the Church. Quests for my time often come from outside the Church and I am cautious not to tread on what I must do, in direct competition with what I am asked to do.
I guess the only slot I need really worry about is that of my faith. If I ask God everyday to give me that which He desires for my life, the strength, courage and gifts to carry it through, then I am fitting the right slots for which I am prepared and moulded by His Spirit. Each day carries with it a new set of experiences,... most are such a joy, but a few come with their own sadness to face and pray through. That is why we have such a wonderful God, who has given us a wonderful Christ, who brought such great joy at His Birth... to give us the confidence and strength to carry on each day.. on into eternity as we place our faith and trust in Him!
I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a Wonderfully Happy New Year. May your slots be made for you and the joy of service bring a comfort and joy to your lives. Remember... “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
It has been a stretch for me.... this new ministry. I was used to the layed-back style of rural ministry and as my friend Wayne told me, “You are not in Kansas any more Toto!” It is a bit of a culture shock to have so many needing so much .... ALL AT ONCE! But my moto has always been “one day at a time.” Now, I have to try to get it down to one item at a time as well. Things can bunch up on you, if you are not watching carefully. Since I am not as organized as some, .... Ok for all you Nay Sayers out there.... I am doing much better... thank you very much.... it takes me a tad longer to get to the mark some days, but I make it. Karen knows that my mind works in mysterious ways... more of a mystery to her most days than she would like I am sure.
So I have been kinda struggling of late. It may be due to the confusion of the move, it may be the boxes still unpacked, it may be that my new office in the home is a bathroom (no... it doesn’t have the fixtures... it barely has walls) or it may be that the idea of getting everything all done and in shape, is a daunting prospect for me just now, as I begin to think about going off to India again in February 2010.
So, am I a square peg, I wonder some days? Is it necessary for me, or anyone for that matter, to always meet some criteria which seems to be the image for the day, created in society for our family or fellowship circles. I know that my new Church Family seems very open to my newness for now, but will that continue I sometimes wonder. I am not the usual type of Pastor that is for sure!!! I come with a lot of varied experiences and some of those may lead people to think that I have answers, which I may or may not have,... but it is another slot! I love to help and that often leads to more expectations, more slots to fit into as people learn of my past .... does that mean that I should keep my past hidden? No, but it does mean that I have to be ready to examine the needs with wisdom and God’s direction before I overload my time ... or the time spent away from Karen, my family and the Church. Quests for my time often come from outside the Church and I am cautious not to tread on what I must do, in direct competition with what I am asked to do.
I guess the only slot I need really worry about is that of my faith. If I ask God everyday to give me that which He desires for my life, the strength, courage and gifts to carry it through, then I am fitting the right slots for which I am prepared and moulded by His Spirit. Each day carries with it a new set of experiences,... most are such a joy, but a few come with their own sadness to face and pray through. That is why we have such a wonderful God, who has given us a wonderful Christ, who brought such great joy at His Birth... to give us the confidence and strength to carry on each day.. on into eternity as we place our faith and trust in Him!
I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a Wonderfully Happy New Year. May your slots be made for you and the joy of service bring a comfort and joy to your lives. Remember... “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A New Era... New Beginnings
My dear mother-in-law gave us a wall hanging years ago that read, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Though we have come a long way in this journey, in the past 36 years, I have always in the past and will continue in the future, to stand in amazement at how much my dear and wonderful wife will withstand during the constant calls on my life. We are now in the throws of another change and it causes us both such heart-felt concern and the struggle is greater for her than for me... it may in fact be the first days of the rest of our lives... the rest of our story.
We have discussed the idea of ministry in many areas over the years and I have always been cautioned to never say that I would never want to go here or there, in the following of a Pastoral call. Certain areas brought the most fear to our lives and have always included at first, long distances from our hometowns, then from our children, but most of all and most importantly to the big city. We see ourselves as country mice, not city mice... now where has God called me but to a city church setting and even though the dear folks there try to assure me that they are merely a rural church in a city setting, they are located in Dartmouth... a city very unfamiliar to my history... I traveled mostly in Halifax, but would not want to move there either!!!!!! So why does God, in all His wisdom and knowledge, call us to do the things which we feel the most unfit to do, call us to places most un-nerving for us, to that which seems so much larger than our being. Well, ... so we will remember that it is His will, that it is His strength that is sufficient, for when we are weak, afraid and lonely, He is strong, comforting and with always with us.
I have come to the point that I realize now more than ever before that, we must depend on what He has done for us, is doing for us and will do for us as, we go in faith and do His will. As a miracle He provided an almost new house far below its assessed value, had more taken off the price, in 12 hours, than most people could ever negotiate in real estate in a lifetime and given me gifts to assist me in the additional renovations needed to help make this house a home for Karen and myself during our stay in the area. In the midst of all this our hearts still cry out, "Are you sure Lord this is what we must do?" We reflect the image of the human heart who cries out in disbelief, that Paul spoke of. We want to do, but can't... we don't want to continue this way, but we do... so have a spiritual battle continuing within. The only way to win that battle is to march toward the enemy (like young David against Goliath) we have visualized, pick up the stones along the way and be ready for battle; as God always wins. I think I am ready for the wounds of the conflict by this time, yet they still hurt for the moment. But Christ invites to follow him, by picking up the cross daily and following Him.
So, we venture forth in faith. We believe in our souls that as God calls He provides and rather than continue to second guess our decision we march to the tune of "Great Is Thy Faithfulness..." I will be adding to the blog to have a record of the trip down this new road. It will lead us even closer to the edge I am sure, but as I have always stated, “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
Blessings as you tread your own paths and live near the edge in your own lives. God will richly bless.
We have discussed the idea of ministry in many areas over the years and I have always been cautioned to never say that I would never want to go here or there, in the following of a Pastoral call. Certain areas brought the most fear to our lives and have always included at first, long distances from our hometowns, then from our children, but most of all and most importantly to the big city. We see ourselves as country mice, not city mice... now where has God called me but to a city church setting and even though the dear folks there try to assure me that they are merely a rural church in a city setting, they are located in Dartmouth... a city very unfamiliar to my history... I traveled mostly in Halifax, but would not want to move there either!!!!!! So why does God, in all His wisdom and knowledge, call us to do the things which we feel the most unfit to do, call us to places most un-nerving for us, to that which seems so much larger than our being. Well, ... so we will remember that it is His will, that it is His strength that is sufficient, for when we are weak, afraid and lonely, He is strong, comforting and with always with us.
I have come to the point that I realize now more than ever before that, we must depend on what He has done for us, is doing for us and will do for us as, we go in faith and do His will. As a miracle He provided an almost new house far below its assessed value, had more taken off the price, in 12 hours, than most people could ever negotiate in real estate in a lifetime and given me gifts to assist me in the additional renovations needed to help make this house a home for Karen and myself during our stay in the area. In the midst of all this our hearts still cry out, "Are you sure Lord this is what we must do?" We reflect the image of the human heart who cries out in disbelief, that Paul spoke of. We want to do, but can't... we don't want to continue this way, but we do... so have a spiritual battle continuing within. The only way to win that battle is to march toward the enemy (like young David against Goliath) we have visualized, pick up the stones along the way and be ready for battle; as God always wins. I think I am ready for the wounds of the conflict by this time, yet they still hurt for the moment. But Christ invites to follow him, by picking up the cross daily and following Him.
So, we venture forth in faith. We believe in our souls that as God calls He provides and rather than continue to second guess our decision we march to the tune of "Great Is Thy Faithfulness..." I will be adding to the blog to have a record of the trip down this new road. It will lead us even closer to the edge I am sure, but as I have always stated, “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”
Blessings as you tread your own paths and live near the edge in your own lives. God will richly bless.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Tripping Through The Jungles
I once thought of jungle areas as a strictly tropical zone. I guess National Geographic gave me a stilted view of what it really meant. I pictured a tangled muddle of vines, tall exotic trees and thick undergrowth, almost impassable without mechanically clearing a path. Maybe I overlooked the views of the majestic grasslands that surrounded the forests, where elephants and rhinos lived and thought they were just another form of forgotten farmland. In life there are so many things to learn and this phase of the journey was an exciting 2 hours indeed.
I imagined the jungle and the creatures there, as we took the long trip by jeep from Gangtok to Sahtali. Along the way I chatted about the animals that people saw daily, while living in what can be called the grasslands of Northwestern Bengal. The area there is not much above sea level and holds in it some of the beautiful forest or jungle reserves. It is here that you can find the Indian elephant and the famous 1 horned rhino. Of course there are many other varieties of wildlife there, but most people desire especially to see these two majestic creatures. I asked about the jungle tours that the past mission had taken and my friend Shakti said that Uncle Nicholas had not mentioned anything to that point, but that he would ask about it as soon as we arrived at Sahtali. The roads there were, to say the least, less than smooth, but nevertheless got us to our destination. The first 4 ½ hours took us through mountain passes and along river banks, where monsoon rains had done its devastating work on the roads. Washouts make the driving interesting some places and our driver did a wonderful job, even though he was suffering from a local malady himself. We doctored him up and kept him on the road, much to his satisfaction and joy. He really seemed interested in the conversations and funny stories we told and translated, through an interpreter that he had brought along.
The arrival at Uncle Nicholas’s orphanage in Sahtali was late in the evening after a very long and tiring trip. Uncle Nicholas and the staff were eager for our arrival and lots of fanfare met us even at the lateness of the hour. We had a late supper and were shown to our private rooms for our stay, with the promise of some very interesting trips during our stay with him. He is a wonderful man of vision and has spent years looking after the poor and children of the area. His family staff is augmented by locals who come to volunteer their help in exchange for food and some clothing form time to time. The next morning we were up early to meet the children who rise at 6 am and have their breakfast by 6:30 so that chores at the orphanage can be completed before studies begin.
Uncle Nicholas said that he was trying to make arrangements for the elephant safari through the jungle for us the next day. The problem was that the local retreats (hotels of sorts on the reserves) had first bookings and he did not know in time that some of us would like to take the tour this year. He spent a few minutes on the phone and made arrangements for us to get on a jeep tour of the jungle areas, which was not as exciting, but would at least give us an idea what they were like and the prospect of perhaps seeing some wildlife.
We started our tour at around 3 pm the next day and went about 10 miles into the jungle to a few look-out towers where salt licks were put out to toll the animals in. We found out that most of the wildlife did not arrive until the workers had left the area, which was usually around 4:30 pm each day. On our first stop we spotted some water buffalo off in the distance, but left shortly thereafter to head back to the reserve station. Along the way we stopped at one last tower. There we saw some working elephants being taken home and a rhino that did come fairly near the tower, but was scared off before it got very close, by an incoming vehicle that was honking its horn.
I tried to imagine life here. In Canada, not many people are allowed to live in reserve areas. In India it is the practice to allow the tribal people to remain and maintain themselves and their families there, either working the reserve or doing minor farming. Villages stay intact and traditions continue for the most part. As we dove along the narrow roads, I thought about God’s wonderful plans and how we continue to manage them in our own resolve and vision. I wonder if he is truly happy about what we are doing and if, as many of his varieties of animals begin to disappear, we have done our best to be good stewards of what He has given us.
I guess I felt myself tripping on the very excitement of the tour itself. Was this what God meant for us to do with our resources? Yet I know that without both the reserves themselves and the tours like I was taking, many would not even think about what we still have and maintain interest in keeping them alive and supported. Even though I did not see an elephant or Bengal tiger in the wild, I did get a sense of what is still beautiful, as I listened to the stories of the tribal people who see these beautiful creatures on almost a daily basis. I wondered what it must have been like when even greater areas of the country were their homes and they waundered the land freely, without fear or worry. Well, we can’t turn back the pages of time, but we can make sure that something is learned by mistakes made and I celebrate the desire of the tribal people of India to make sure that big business does not crowd out the grasslands with development and more destruction brought on this now fragile balance of nature.
As they begin to organize, I pray for them. I pray that God will strengthen them in their resolve and the strength of their combined voices. I pray that I, along with the many others who have taken the trip and viewed the natural beauty of creation still remaining, will resolve to continue to do what I can to keep our earth beautiful one day at a time, but with a view to the future. I am not sure what this will fully mean and it scares me. But I do want to do my part and if that means being a bit pro-active beyond picking up the garbage that I leave behind, then so be it! Let’s not forget that God created a beautiful earth– we have made it into something far less.
I imagined the jungle and the creatures there, as we took the long trip by jeep from Gangtok to Sahtali. Along the way I chatted about the animals that people saw daily, while living in what can be called the grasslands of Northwestern Bengal. The area there is not much above sea level and holds in it some of the beautiful forest or jungle reserves. It is here that you can find the Indian elephant and the famous 1 horned rhino. Of course there are many other varieties of wildlife there, but most people desire especially to see these two majestic creatures. I asked about the jungle tours that the past mission had taken and my friend Shakti said that Uncle Nicholas had not mentioned anything to that point, but that he would ask about it as soon as we arrived at Sahtali. The roads there were, to say the least, less than smooth, but nevertheless got us to our destination. The first 4 ½ hours took us through mountain passes and along river banks, where monsoon rains had done its devastating work on the roads. Washouts make the driving interesting some places and our driver did a wonderful job, even though he was suffering from a local malady himself. We doctored him up and kept him on the road, much to his satisfaction and joy. He really seemed interested in the conversations and funny stories we told and translated, through an interpreter that he had brought along.
The arrival at Uncle Nicholas’s orphanage in Sahtali was late in the evening after a very long and tiring trip. Uncle Nicholas and the staff were eager for our arrival and lots of fanfare met us even at the lateness of the hour. We had a late supper and were shown to our private rooms for our stay, with the promise of some very interesting trips during our stay with him. He is a wonderful man of vision and has spent years looking after the poor and children of the area. His family staff is augmented by locals who come to volunteer their help in exchange for food and some clothing form time to time. The next morning we were up early to meet the children who rise at 6 am and have their breakfast by 6:30 so that chores at the orphanage can be completed before studies begin.
Uncle Nicholas said that he was trying to make arrangements for the elephant safari through the jungle for us the next day. The problem was that the local retreats (hotels of sorts on the reserves) had first bookings and he did not know in time that some of us would like to take the tour this year. He spent a few minutes on the phone and made arrangements for us to get on a jeep tour of the jungle areas, which was not as exciting, but would at least give us an idea what they were like and the prospect of perhaps seeing some wildlife.
We started our tour at around 3 pm the next day and went about 10 miles into the jungle to a few look-out towers where salt licks were put out to toll the animals in. We found out that most of the wildlife did not arrive until the workers had left the area, which was usually around 4:30 pm each day. On our first stop we spotted some water buffalo off in the distance, but left shortly thereafter to head back to the reserve station. Along the way we stopped at one last tower. There we saw some working elephants being taken home and a rhino that did come fairly near the tower, but was scared off before it got very close, by an incoming vehicle that was honking its horn.
I tried to imagine life here. In Canada, not many people are allowed to live in reserve areas. In India it is the practice to allow the tribal people to remain and maintain themselves and their families there, either working the reserve or doing minor farming. Villages stay intact and traditions continue for the most part. As we dove along the narrow roads, I thought about God’s wonderful plans and how we continue to manage them in our own resolve and vision. I wonder if he is truly happy about what we are doing and if, as many of his varieties of animals begin to disappear, we have done our best to be good stewards of what He has given us.
I guess I felt myself tripping on the very excitement of the tour itself. Was this what God meant for us to do with our resources? Yet I know that without both the reserves themselves and the tours like I was taking, many would not even think about what we still have and maintain interest in keeping them alive and supported. Even though I did not see an elephant or Bengal tiger in the wild, I did get a sense of what is still beautiful, as I listened to the stories of the tribal people who see these beautiful creatures on almost a daily basis. I wondered what it must have been like when even greater areas of the country were their homes and they waundered the land freely, without fear or worry. Well, we can’t turn back the pages of time, but we can make sure that something is learned by mistakes made and I celebrate the desire of the tribal people of India to make sure that big business does not crowd out the grasslands with development and more destruction brought on this now fragile balance of nature.
As they begin to organize, I pray for them. I pray that God will strengthen them in their resolve and the strength of their combined voices. I pray that I, along with the many others who have taken the trip and viewed the natural beauty of creation still remaining, will resolve to continue to do what I can to keep our earth beautiful one day at a time, but with a view to the future. I am not sure what this will fully mean and it scares me. But I do want to do my part and if that means being a bit pro-active beyond picking up the garbage that I leave behind, then so be it! Let’s not forget that God created a beautiful earth– we have made it into something far less.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Teaching the Teacher... I’m Still Learning!
News Bulletin!.... I’ve always felt the compulsion towards education. I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but a teacher in my old High School once told the class, “Never let school interfere with your education!” Those of you who are school teachers will have a sense of that truth, but also the idea of how dangerous such statements could be to the person who doesn’t like school. There is just something about learning new things that draws most people. While there are those who are perfectly content to remain static, or the same without any new challenges, there are also those who just love a new experience. I guess, in my experience, I feel that there are more who like a challenge, than those who just want to be left alone. I’ve met lots of folks who say “NO”, I want to live life like it is, but have their personal challenges which they would never identify as such. A may who golfs but would never go on a trip, may be seen as someone who doesn’t like challenges, or change, but in the event of the game being played, is challenged on every hole. We like different things and may be in somewhat of a rut, but very few are not open to new experiences or challenges at one level or another.
Well... where did that digression come from? Yes... I am known to do that from time to time, but they generally flesh out the point somewhere in the theme for the day. I’ve been thinking this week about a friend in India. He is Shakti, the man I may have mentioned, who is starting a new ministry in West Bengal and is being supported by Far Corner’s Ministry here in Canada. Shakti is the kind of an individual who is searching for training and is up to almost any challenge. I have been challenging him a bit to remain focussed on the original gifts that he has been given, as well as the new ministries. Like an old sage, I spout the wisdom of some of the mistakes that I have made in the past, with absenteeism from family, a myopic sense of direction and constant need to curb energies that could lead me away from the issue at hand. The price paid for such mistakes has taught me much and I will often remind others of the dangers of treading some of life’s paths with out someone who will keep me responsible for my decisions.... accountability has become a large part of life in ministry.
On arrival at HIM CORCE BHAWAN, the Christian Compound where I was to give my first lectures, I found many eager students. They were varied in age and education and this wasn’t going to present a great challenge, as many of my students in Halifax fall under this same category. The thing which soon became apparent was the depth of the forethought that many of the students had put into preparation for this conference. These people were looking forward to new thoughts, new strategies and answers to questions that they felt only an outsider might answer without bias. Well... it was an eye opener! Lecturers are given “some” insights and reflections on the audience and we were with this tour. One could say that insight can be blind if the homework is not complete, and our information was lacking in some areas on foundational concepts. We found that when it came to discussion in talk-back sessions. The Pastors and lay leaders who attended had much on their minds. This included everything from structure of theological process to administrative concerns, within the organization of Church, and they delighted in asking these questions. These deviations from the lecture subjects seemed to indicate that they got much from the lectures topics, but wanted any information that our experiences could offer for other ministry themes. They hunger for training.
How and in what depth you answer, may make all the difference when it comes to the interaction you continue to get. I think I also mentioned that they loved to stop you and give more challenges to chew on. I was amazed at how deep-rooted and fundamental to their ministry most of these personal requests were. I took a lot of time to listen and little time to speak most times. I am known to be wordy (ah... ya you can laugh because you read my stuff!) by times, but I know enough, when in situations like these, that intensified listening can give meaning to much of the topics considered. I have too often, in the beginning of my work in ministry, taken too little time to listen and thought that I knew what people wanted, only to find out that I was way off base.
Due to the challenge of language, some of the topics were difficult to take in, but God never lets His people remain in the dark. I really feel the work of the Spirit was there with us. Together in a sense of unity and love, we found common words, thoughts and illustrations and worked through the questions, that for the most part the participants had answers to anyway; just needing affirmation and support.
In other words, I soon found that we were not the heros coming to save the day, but merely the back-ups for the workers already present on the scenes. I would liken it to being a skilled operating room nurse, who hands the tools to the surgeon... well you can see what I mean, I hope. These leaders are on the forefront of the work already started. They know the people that they are working with, the conditions under which they participate in ministry and the cultural methods which are necessary to maintain that ministry, in a non-supportive government and multi-ethnic environment. We do not move in to give them great insights, but to hand them the tools they need, only as they are requested. Maybe there are moments when we can give some insights from the outside... like I do with my friend, on issues of personal accountability within the work and family. Yet, to say that we come as the professionals to the common folk, is a true misrepresentation of the case.
I learned so much while in India. Worship with tribal believers is fantastic. There may be an overwhelming sense of the Charismata in some contexts, but we never felt the lack of real zeal in worship for the God who loves and came to save, in His Son the Christ. We can learn a lot about their sense of deliberate ministry, as they face the challenges everyday of cultural rejection and in lots of cases, discrimination and abuse. I not only saw how the other half lived, but saw that they are a happy people. They are content to spend their time doing what it takes to live, worship, teach and evangelize the lost, withing the context of their daily labour to maintain presence. They have a sense of purpose and direction that many North American Christians could learn from... including myself most days. The very poor and disenfranchised are a separate story. I will never get over the sense of helplessness that they had and that I felt, everyday in their presence. I will however, strive to continue to work for them through Shant and “Far Corner’s Ministry.” I’ve been asked along with others to assist Shakti, in his new ministry, who also represents Shant on the ground there. Lord, let me never forget that learning is a lifelong exercise and let me use my education for Your purpose... with these wonderful people, if that is Your Will, from time to time.
Well... where did that digression come from? Yes... I am known to do that from time to time, but they generally flesh out the point somewhere in the theme for the day. I’ve been thinking this week about a friend in India. He is Shakti, the man I may have mentioned, who is starting a new ministry in West Bengal and is being supported by Far Corner’s Ministry here in Canada. Shakti is the kind of an individual who is searching for training and is up to almost any challenge. I have been challenging him a bit to remain focussed on the original gifts that he has been given, as well as the new ministries. Like an old sage, I spout the wisdom of some of the mistakes that I have made in the past, with absenteeism from family, a myopic sense of direction and constant need to curb energies that could lead me away from the issue at hand. The price paid for such mistakes has taught me much and I will often remind others of the dangers of treading some of life’s paths with out someone who will keep me responsible for my decisions.... accountability has become a large part of life in ministry.
On arrival at HIM CORCE BHAWAN, the Christian Compound where I was to give my first lectures, I found many eager students. They were varied in age and education and this wasn’t going to present a great challenge, as many of my students in Halifax fall under this same category. The thing which soon became apparent was the depth of the forethought that many of the students had put into preparation for this conference. These people were looking forward to new thoughts, new strategies and answers to questions that they felt only an outsider might answer without bias. Well... it was an eye opener! Lecturers are given “some” insights and reflections on the audience and we were with this tour. One could say that insight can be blind if the homework is not complete, and our information was lacking in some areas on foundational concepts. We found that when it came to discussion in talk-back sessions. The Pastors and lay leaders who attended had much on their minds. This included everything from structure of theological process to administrative concerns, within the organization of Church, and they delighted in asking these questions. These deviations from the lecture subjects seemed to indicate that they got much from the lectures topics, but wanted any information that our experiences could offer for other ministry themes. They hunger for training.
How and in what depth you answer, may make all the difference when it comes to the interaction you continue to get. I think I also mentioned that they loved to stop you and give more challenges to chew on. I was amazed at how deep-rooted and fundamental to their ministry most of these personal requests were. I took a lot of time to listen and little time to speak most times. I am known to be wordy (ah... ya you can laugh because you read my stuff!) by times, but I know enough, when in situations like these, that intensified listening can give meaning to much of the topics considered. I have too often, in the beginning of my work in ministry, taken too little time to listen and thought that I knew what people wanted, only to find out that I was way off base.
Due to the challenge of language, some of the topics were difficult to take in, but God never lets His people remain in the dark. I really feel the work of the Spirit was there with us. Together in a sense of unity and love, we found common words, thoughts and illustrations and worked through the questions, that for the most part the participants had answers to anyway; just needing affirmation and support.
In other words, I soon found that we were not the heros coming to save the day, but merely the back-ups for the workers already present on the scenes. I would liken it to being a skilled operating room nurse, who hands the tools to the surgeon... well you can see what I mean, I hope. These leaders are on the forefront of the work already started. They know the people that they are working with, the conditions under which they participate in ministry and the cultural methods which are necessary to maintain that ministry, in a non-supportive government and multi-ethnic environment. We do not move in to give them great insights, but to hand them the tools they need, only as they are requested. Maybe there are moments when we can give some insights from the outside... like I do with my friend, on issues of personal accountability within the work and family. Yet, to say that we come as the professionals to the common folk, is a true misrepresentation of the case.
I learned so much while in India. Worship with tribal believers is fantastic. There may be an overwhelming sense of the Charismata in some contexts, but we never felt the lack of real zeal in worship for the God who loves and came to save, in His Son the Christ. We can learn a lot about their sense of deliberate ministry, as they face the challenges everyday of cultural rejection and in lots of cases, discrimination and abuse. I not only saw how the other half lived, but saw that they are a happy people. They are content to spend their time doing what it takes to live, worship, teach and evangelize the lost, withing the context of their daily labour to maintain presence. They have a sense of purpose and direction that many North American Christians could learn from... including myself most days. The very poor and disenfranchised are a separate story. I will never get over the sense of helplessness that they had and that I felt, everyday in their presence. I will however, strive to continue to work for them through Shant and “Far Corner’s Ministry.” I’ve been asked along with others to assist Shakti, in his new ministry, who also represents Shant on the ground there. Lord, let me never forget that learning is a lifelong exercise and let me use my education for Your purpose... with these wonderful people, if that is Your Will, from time to time.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
On Solid Ground With A Sinking Feeling
It is hard to imagine some days, the view from a different perspective. We get used to seeing things in familiar patterns. We get up each morning and learn to expect that our days, though not always managed by schedules, to be at least somewhat planned in advance. I like to think that I am ready in any occasion to expect the unexpected and therefore shape myself around anything that might arise... you know the feeling perhaps... I think of myself as somewhat spontaneous. I do like order and though change is good, I would not want my life to be a constant view of the strange or unfamiliar for the rest of my life. I guess I have just become a creature of habit. Does that happen without us realizing that it is happening? Maybe so. I had tried to prepare myself for the shock of a different culture. I did my homework by looking at pictures, collected them in my favourite bookmarks to check and recheck again, on the internet. I read the stats and tourist info on the various places we would be traveling and figured that I was ready for the idea that things would be different but manageable.
The planes in major airports often have to sit out on the tarmac and unload. The terminals are often too small to accommodate the numbers of aircraft coming into international airports. We got off the plane and made our way to an awaiting bus... One of several, I might add, to carry the 240 + people on board, to the terminal. For the frequent traveler, this is just a walk in the park, but for a young 18 year old, who has never been out of Novas Scotia, the daunting task of keeping up and being forceful was a huge task. Young people travel at “their” pace and our youngest member missed the bus. Everyone else made it on, but he was carrying a large bag and was told by a local, that the bus was full... not knowing that he just had to say, “Hey, I am with that group and we travel together!” Poor Kalen was left alone, with hundreds of strangers, all speaking a foreign language and went into a panic. On my arriving at the terminal and finding that he was missing, I announced to the others that we had to wait, only to be told that he would be OK ... we needed to rush to get our rides to the hotel. I said that I was not leaving without Kalen and rushed back out toward the tarmac to await the next bus, to see if Kalen was on board. The first bus arrived and no Kalen. But the worst part was that as I rushed out through the first glass door, a man started yelling at me to stop. An armed soldier, with an AK-47 machine gun, pointed his rifle at me and yelled stop. A hand grabbed my collar from behind and pulled me back and I heard his voice yelling, “Stop, you can’t go out there, he will shoot you!” A kindly airport control officer heard my plea and stood holding on to me just inside the outer doors, while the soldier with the gun continued to point the rifle at me, while continuing to hold his icy stare focussed on me. The control officer, dressed in a nice suit, mumbled a few sentences to the soldier, but he never changed his demeanor; but for the several incoming workers all carrying identification, some of whom were spontaneously searched, at what seemed like the soldiers personal whim, just to make the point of his control over the situation. Kalen did arrive in tears and I promised that I would never let that happen again... not on my watch. A catastrophe was side-stepped and a lessen well learned... Always stick together in a foreign land.
We arrived, as I stated, late at night in India, to the city of New Delhi. The fan fare was extraordinary. People everywhere and this was not the peak hour... how many people would there be if it was say 4 o’clock in the afternoon? I mentioned, I think, that the coolies (people who carry and push things for a living) all wanted a piece of the action. They jockey for position, amid the foreigners, to get the best jobs. Tours and groups, they think are the best bet, as they need more help, but most often they are the ones who have pre-arranged drivers and their own people doing the job already. Therefore there is a high level of disappointment, yet they dive in and will take over, if they can. We finally got to our cars (actually the first of many 4-wheel drive jeeps) that hold 7 passengers each, and they loaded our luggage on the racks on top. No covers needed, as it is winter and no moisture in the air. Old bungy cords and some old rope to held everything in place for the ride.... and what a ride it was. No one could prepare for the traffic and the noise just by reading about culture in an Indian city.
Everywhere there were trucks, cars, auto-rickshaws and people, walking, sitting, gathering and yelling and meanwhile our drivers wildly swerving, honking, and sped to get out of the city and to our destination, so they could get home and sleep for another day. The hotel for our first night was chosen to give us the best rest after so many hours in the air, as our next stop in Siliguri would be in a busy downtown hotel, where minimal would be the watchword for the day, There we would prepare for the next week of lectures and the dorm style living that had been planned for us. The New Delhi hotel was, by the standard for local digs, one of the best. We were treated like kings, the food was as varied as it was plentiful and we couldn’t get a sense of the poverty surrounding us until the break of day. The next morning, from my window, I viewed another hotel surrounded by the impoverished, living and working in tin huts, built on the new excavations for future modern expansions. They move in almost overnight and will camp until the developers dislocate them for their growing needs.
A metal shack, of some expanse, was filled with smoke. Near the door a broken down bicycle was standing at ready. A make-shift table with benches was made from what looked like dirty planks, perhaps from cement forms salvaged from a building site. Dirt, garbage, old clothes and filth was everywhere and this was one man’s home and shop. There was a forge of some type with what looked like hammers and tools, likely hand made, tossed near it. Not far away was a single row of tin shacks; likely domiciles for the poor and other scavengers. The poor of the city were gathering piles of more tin roofing, being brought in by daybreak on the heads of some of the women making their way past the modern hotel units... well hidden from view by high concrete walls... except from the view afforded us from our windows overlooking the empty lots. It is a matter of standard fare and no one seems to pay attention to the tasks, being carried on by those building their tin shacks next door.
Meanwhile, down in the hotel restaurant, meals are being prepared by a master chef and served on the finest china to paying consumers of all nationalities and languages. You name that dish and it was being prepared, on demand, at no extra cost... but no locals allowed. At the gate of the hotel stand several armed guards. Each vehicle is searched for explosive materials and drivers had to show identification with pictures, and our passports were checked once in the hotel. I found that hard to get used to. It gave me sense of the fragility of this country and those foreigners who may be seen as a target for terrorists, much to the embarrassment to the country... it all very divisive. After breakfast and time for a short walk around the hotel garden for some photo ops, we were loaded back into our vehicles and whisked off to the domestic airport for the next leg of our journey to Bagdogra Air Force Base and the city of Siliguri. It was a repetition of the trip the night before, only now with increased speeds and even more noise, including the honking of horns and the voices of people yelling their instructions for the days work. I would be tired after an hour of that din, but we all knew that it was just the beginning of the day and there is still another airport to face and a plane to catch, for the beginning of more exciting experiences to come.
The planes in major airports often have to sit out on the tarmac and unload. The terminals are often too small to accommodate the numbers of aircraft coming into international airports. We got off the plane and made our way to an awaiting bus... One of several, I might add, to carry the 240 + people on board, to the terminal. For the frequent traveler, this is just a walk in the park, but for a young 18 year old, who has never been out of Novas Scotia, the daunting task of keeping up and being forceful was a huge task. Young people travel at “their” pace and our youngest member missed the bus. Everyone else made it on, but he was carrying a large bag and was told by a local, that the bus was full... not knowing that he just had to say, “Hey, I am with that group and we travel together!” Poor Kalen was left alone, with hundreds of strangers, all speaking a foreign language and went into a panic. On my arriving at the terminal and finding that he was missing, I announced to the others that we had to wait, only to be told that he would be OK ... we needed to rush to get our rides to the hotel. I said that I was not leaving without Kalen and rushed back out toward the tarmac to await the next bus, to see if Kalen was on board. The first bus arrived and no Kalen. But the worst part was that as I rushed out through the first glass door, a man started yelling at me to stop. An armed soldier, with an AK-47 machine gun, pointed his rifle at me and yelled stop. A hand grabbed my collar from behind and pulled me back and I heard his voice yelling, “Stop, you can’t go out there, he will shoot you!” A kindly airport control officer heard my plea and stood holding on to me just inside the outer doors, while the soldier with the gun continued to point the rifle at me, while continuing to hold his icy stare focussed on me. The control officer, dressed in a nice suit, mumbled a few sentences to the soldier, but he never changed his demeanor; but for the several incoming workers all carrying identification, some of whom were spontaneously searched, at what seemed like the soldiers personal whim, just to make the point of his control over the situation. Kalen did arrive in tears and I promised that I would never let that happen again... not on my watch. A catastrophe was side-stepped and a lessen well learned... Always stick together in a foreign land.
We arrived, as I stated, late at night in India, to the city of New Delhi. The fan fare was extraordinary. People everywhere and this was not the peak hour... how many people would there be if it was say 4 o’clock in the afternoon? I mentioned, I think, that the coolies (people who carry and push things for a living) all wanted a piece of the action. They jockey for position, amid the foreigners, to get the best jobs. Tours and groups, they think are the best bet, as they need more help, but most often they are the ones who have pre-arranged drivers and their own people doing the job already. Therefore there is a high level of disappointment, yet they dive in and will take over, if they can. We finally got to our cars (actually the first of many 4-wheel drive jeeps) that hold 7 passengers each, and they loaded our luggage on the racks on top. No covers needed, as it is winter and no moisture in the air. Old bungy cords and some old rope to held everything in place for the ride.... and what a ride it was. No one could prepare for the traffic and the noise just by reading about culture in an Indian city.
Everywhere there were trucks, cars, auto-rickshaws and people, walking, sitting, gathering and yelling and meanwhile our drivers wildly swerving, honking, and sped to get out of the city and to our destination, so they could get home and sleep for another day. The hotel for our first night was chosen to give us the best rest after so many hours in the air, as our next stop in Siliguri would be in a busy downtown hotel, where minimal would be the watchword for the day, There we would prepare for the next week of lectures and the dorm style living that had been planned for us. The New Delhi hotel was, by the standard for local digs, one of the best. We were treated like kings, the food was as varied as it was plentiful and we couldn’t get a sense of the poverty surrounding us until the break of day. The next morning, from my window, I viewed another hotel surrounded by the impoverished, living and working in tin huts, built on the new excavations for future modern expansions. They move in almost overnight and will camp until the developers dislocate them for their growing needs.
A metal shack, of some expanse, was filled with smoke. Near the door a broken down bicycle was standing at ready. A make-shift table with benches was made from what looked like dirty planks, perhaps from cement forms salvaged from a building site. Dirt, garbage, old clothes and filth was everywhere and this was one man’s home and shop. There was a forge of some type with what looked like hammers and tools, likely hand made, tossed near it. Not far away was a single row of tin shacks; likely domiciles for the poor and other scavengers. The poor of the city were gathering piles of more tin roofing, being brought in by daybreak on the heads of some of the women making their way past the modern hotel units... well hidden from view by high concrete walls... except from the view afforded us from our windows overlooking the empty lots. It is a matter of standard fare and no one seems to pay attention to the tasks, being carried on by those building their tin shacks next door.
Meanwhile, down in the hotel restaurant, meals are being prepared by a master chef and served on the finest china to paying consumers of all nationalities and languages. You name that dish and it was being prepared, on demand, at no extra cost... but no locals allowed. At the gate of the hotel stand several armed guards. Each vehicle is searched for explosive materials and drivers had to show identification with pictures, and our passports were checked once in the hotel. I found that hard to get used to. It gave me sense of the fragility of this country and those foreigners who may be seen as a target for terrorists, much to the embarrassment to the country... it all very divisive. After breakfast and time for a short walk around the hotel garden for some photo ops, we were loaded back into our vehicles and whisked off to the domestic airport for the next leg of our journey to Bagdogra Air Force Base and the city of Siliguri. It was a repetition of the trip the night before, only now with increased speeds and even more noise, including the honking of horns and the voices of people yelling their instructions for the days work. I would be tired after an hour of that din, but we all knew that it was just the beginning of the day and there is still another airport to face and a plane to catch, for the beginning of more exciting experiences to come.
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