Willing His Will

We serve a God who is loving, gracious, gentle and kind... but... we serve a God who is a Sovereign God, omniscient beyond our comprehension, who sees the greater picture of His creation (and its best interests) and who makes decisions that our spirit does not always understand. We seem to accept that God answers prayer in His time and in His will, but do we truly accept it, much less understand it.

 The two greatest examples are found in the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6) in the phrase: "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" and in the example of Jesus Christ's statement (Matthew 26) as he knelt in the garden, facing alone his impending death and wanting that that cup of death to be removed from him: "Yet not my will, but Yours (God’s) be done!"

What do we see here in these two examples taken from Scripture? In the Lord’s Prayer there is the request that things happen on earth the way they would happen in heaven. What does that mean? Can we allow ourselves to relinquish control of outcome in life, to God’s will; all those things which we do not understand and most that we cannot see? YES! This is the true test of our faith; to allow God to reign in our lives here on earth, as though we too were in heaven. Here then is the value of our understanding of that phrase that is most often thought to mean that we want earth to be pure, innocent and as virgin as heaven is. If we accepted God’s will here on earth, as it is accepted and followed in heaven… earth and our lives on it, would be so different.

This first phrase, from the Lord’s Prayer, then leads us to a greater understanding of a fuller meaning of Christ’s prayer in the garden, before his death. The will of the Father (God) for His son was ”this death He faced”. Cruel, in our eyes perhaps, but necessary, as humanity alone could not atone for the sin we commit daily in our lifetime. How do we come to understand that God’s Holy Will was secured by this one phrase? It was secured in the knowledge that God, who created, must now not only sustain, but deliver… deliver from death (which He did in the end), deliver from guilt and deliver from the pain of that guilt. That kind of true love, and the fullness of true love, could only be found in heaven. Our peace therefore is only found in true and full surrender in love; that being the relinquishing of our will to that of the Father.

When we pray therefore, we pray for the Father's will to done. In other words, that our will be in accordance with His will, yet it most often seems to be the opposite; in us wanting God to bend His will to fit ours. Yet our prayers must meet the criteria of a loving selflessness that was found in Christ's new command, to we who would yearn to be His true Disciples: "Love one another as I have loved you". Can we see any greater love than that of Christ surrendering his life so that we might gain life? In this knowledge therefore, we learn to pray for others in love, desiring their health, safety and blessing. We pray that God might show us favour in our prayers, while leaving everything fully in His hands. Can we truly pray with that resolve…That God's will be first and foremost, even when it does not seem to fit our picture of what is right, good and expedient? We who stumble and fall our way through life have no other recourse or answer, but to approach God through Christ, in reverence and humility, bringing our petitions for ourselves and others to Him who hears and then answers.

There are so many things that I desire for those I love, as well as those things I covet for my own personal life. Knowing that we expect God to hear and answer prayer, it is suggested that we must blindly follow the ideal praying not just knowing that God can, but that He will answer, granting what we ask. This though depends on how we approach that ideal. It must be understood that there has to be a full releasing of each request in prayer, to the Will of our Sovereign God. It is true that not only can God, but He will… but, within His will.  I do not ask therefore: “God bend Your will to mine, but that You hear my loving prayers directed to You, the Giver and Sustainer of life, and bring peace within my heart and the hearts of others as I pray, and for whom I pray, as Your will desires. Then Your Will shall become my will and my heart shall not relinquish its love for You, if I find that I do not get my way because my will is not found being in accordance with Yours. This is not fatalistic… it is the reality of surrender, the very basis of peace; that which sustained Christ.  He was sustained not only in the garden, but from the garden to the cross, even as he cried; “My God, My God, why have your forsaken me?” This seemingly not a cry of one sustained, but surely of one deserted? This was merely a cry from the human part of that human soul found in Christ… a cry we most often utter when life’s disappointments befall us. It is a  cry to our God who knows better than our mortal understand, what which is greater than our need, the need of the Father for His will… and beyond us perhaps, the need of some other. Here God acts beyond our human frailty with grace, forgiveness and love.

Help me then to pray Lord every day that I may find peace in the midst of this life which I do not understand and on so many days finding tears to be more prevalent than laughter. Let satan not rob me of my joy, but let any peace reigning within my heart and my will, be only found in accordance with that will which is Yours. Forgive me for when I have fallen, quicken my heart to the needs of others that I may give fully and freely even, as You have give unto me. This I pray in faith believing and in Your most Precious and Holy Name… That Name which is above all names. … Jesus Christ Our Lord.  Amen.

Today living life near the edge these past weeks has not been fun, it is has been hard and it is challenging. But ,even so, I am granted opportunity to see, in faith, beyond that which I do not understand, to that point of grace in faith where walking becomes easier because I am not alone. Today I pray that you as well will perhaps realize this for yourself. You are not alone. Someone is with you even as He is with me, and that changes our perspective as we walk near the edge… and it is all about perspective! Blessings to each of you who read today, tomorrow or when opportunity and God’s providence brings you here to this page. May your trip to the edge be done while holding God’s hand, awaiting His will to be done and may you too be granted peace.

Strength For Today With Great Hope for Tomorrow!

Some of us are of that age when we had opportunity to sit in quiet solitude on a river bank, shoreline or perhaps just out in the back field at some point, and ponder life. I had a little brook, but soon found out that it flowed into a river that led to the ocean…. That was my playground. There I began to learn the good and the bad, the how-to’s and how-not-to’s  of life, and what it meant to be responsible for not only what was there before me, but also how things affected not only the present but the future.

The river soon became a barrier to be challenged, the ocean a place to be explored, and all things in between, opened doors of opportunity to see new things, meet new people and finally become foundational in setting down roots, starting a family and establishing new traditions while undertaking life in its living, as an adult. I sometimes wonder if I was truly ready. As I look back, I see lots of things that remind me that I was so young, so naïve, so full of the typical hype that says, “Here I come world, there is nothing I can’t accomplish!” I guess life has its way of protecting us, while shoving us out into the turmoil that life can become.  If we really knew what we could and would face, we might not take those steps that are needed to test life, to attempt even the simplest, so that we can mature and grow into adulthood.

I grew up, as most have, facing challenges that had I known about in their entirety, their depth of complexity for family and community, I might have retreated deep into some safe haven of withdrawal from life. I can admit that now, knowing how life can sometimes deal us blows that don’t always make us stronger. We have all heard that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… well, while there is a modicum of truth there; overburdened lives do break. We tend to play the secure game with the outside world. We are happy in public, generally satisfied with life in the workplace and seem content with family life around the house. We often learn to hide deep pain for a time, while masquerading as the everyday person who has not a care in the world. Oh sure, we can spout off sometimes about life, but scarcely ever do we really pour out the sludge that clogs our joys, until it has devoured that joy and eaten into the very energy to live life to its fullest. It is pain unreleased, confusion with life that has not been resolved and it is depression, an open wound festering and putrid. We ask so many questions including, “How did this happen?”, “Why couldn't life just be easier?” and the worst for some, “Why did God let this happen?”

Now this all sounds pretty tragic I am sure. And it is! I have not only tasted of this cup, but in some ways I still struggle at times with the state of confusion with life that drains my energy and incapacitates my ability to find joy in the day to day stuff of life. People have looked at me and said, “You are so lucky!” or I wish I could live your life… you have had it so easy…. everything just came your way!” I HAVE lived a blessed life in many ways. Most do and they are not always capable of realizing it, or they do not take time to look around and see the blessings that surround them. But life has been more complicated than simple, more a struggle than an easy path filled with unending joys.

Recently, while in hospital, I had to give background information about my life for diagnostic purposes. Medical staff soon found sketchy overviews of my life’s journey in my case file and information about where I had been. Word seemed to be spreading that I was different from their day to day patient and people sought me out to chat and one nurse even asked me to give her a 2 minute lecture on Theology. I found out that she was searching and she wanted to know what I would tell her that was most important about God. Through tears she related the experience in Church in her youth and how it affected her view of who God was. I pray that I gave her hope and a vision that the Church is not God, no matter how many people worship “Church” while dismissing God and “the Christ” altogether.

Should it be understood then that life for me has been untenable? Not at all. But, I might have taken that other road in life and quite easily slipped among the stones while retreating into some abyss of darkness and total despair. I had helping hands; people who cared about my mental and spiritual health, as well as a desire to see what I might be capable of, if given a chance. It is curious how things work out sometimes. Why does one person get noticed when there is nothing notable about their life? In fact they may be radical, or worse still extroverted in an attempt to hide shyness, while someone else, who seems far more capable and talented, may be overlooked? We could look at Biblical examples such as Moses, David, Jeremiah and Peter. Any one of these individuals, seen as heroes of the faith, could be examined within the context of their lives and we would soon see their shortcomings, their weaknesses and how God used them, with all their faults, to accomplish His plan. No matter their failures and pain… they somehow saw something more than just the moment, a greater good to be realized and lived through the moments of disappointment and discouragement, to finally see His blessings in their lives.

A long time ago I learned that I could not control everything in life. Some things I can and some things I can’t. It may be that we are no longer fully in tune with our spiritual lives, or we may have become so self-confident that we have a tendency to relax and rely on our own self-sufficiency; feeling that we are able to control the efforts as well as the outcomes alone. I have had occasion to have fallen into that abyss! In ministry it is easy to get used to caring, sharing and being the epicenter for plans and answers not realizing what is happening. Without a full dependency upon God for all things, we go astray… we don’t have to look far into God’s Word to find examples. Jesus himself leaned on The Father to get him through the darkness of human depression that he would face on the cross. So we can’t make it through the tough times or the easy times without God!

I also met people, while I was in hospital, who were not prepared for what the future held. It is a sad day to be in the company of one whose denial or self-reliance makes them a captive to the hopelessness of life’s turns. I was also able to minister to two clergy who actually fell very ill and were hospitalized only days after visiting me. For those who are now wondering… their illness were totally unrelated to mine and were very serious on their own. As we chatted I was asked about how I felt… not just the physical illness but the spiritual stress of being ill. I told them both of an interaction with a nurse while I was waiting to be transferred to this hospital. A nurse asked me if I was afraid. I told her that we are not the masters of our own destinies and that I had placed myself into God’s hands. We are not always ready and never aware of what can happen suddenly to change our lives or even our immediate plans. Not all things in life are joyful, not all events are what we wanted in life. We rely on He who is greater than all that is, to see us through.

Both of the clergymen, who later fell ill, told me as I talked to them from my bed in ICU, that I had ministered to them far more than they had planned to minister to me. To what degree then are we stuck in our circumstance in life, in fear, in depression, in want and in living less than we had planned? Does God suddenly intervene when His plan is to use you for His purpose? Is there some hope that lifts us when we fall down, short of the mark we have set for ourselves, or perhaps when we have let God down with our folly and sin. Peter sure had a lot to atone for, yet Jesus held out the hand of Grace and Peter was not only re-commissioned, but empowered for greater ministry to come, though he felt lost and in disgrace.

Life is not always a bowl full of cherries. Sometimes long stretches of walking near the edge can become exhausting, debilitating and worst of all we can find our faith failing. But we need to be reminded that though our faith may fail, God’s faithfulness does not! The difficult part is our faith. There is a connection between the two elements… faith and hope. Do you see it? They go hand in hand and when in those moments of hopelessness we maintain faith in God’s faithfulness, we gain a return to balance in life. Though we go to the very ends of the earth, God’s love and grace is there for us. It is new every morning and holds us through the dark night of despair, even when we cannot feel Him present.

So today maybe you are living, it seems, too near the edge. Maybe it is time to look up, not down; to look outward not inward and see what there is that makes your joy sing. Yes living near the edge has its down side too, but when lived with an open heart, a love for life and reliance upon God for the everyday path you take, the edge can hold a beauty and peace that not everyone can understand, but would love to experience. It is all from where we mirror our perspective… from self or God. I pray that your perspective will be mirrored from God and that your days will be blessed even through the darkest of paths. 

Challenging A Fear of the Dark

For most of us there have been struggles with a fear of the dark. It would be simple to say that such a fear is only that which takes place after sunset, when darkness has replaced the light of day. But there are many fears of darkness. As the sunset and the darkness of night began to set in, during my childhood, I felt a distinct fear of the dark. My parents used to ask what was wrong. Many were the nights when there were arguments over my going up to bed alone. As the younger sibling I had to go to bed earlier and that meant facing those fears without an ally for support.

On one occasion, that has never left my memory, I asked for someone to escort me up the stairs and down a long hallway to the bathroom. I was told I was now a big boy and had to learn to do it alone. So, off I went and made it alone to the washroom through the dark. You might ask about putting on a light. Well, it is important to know that this was during the 1950’s and our home’s light fixtures upstairs consisted of pull-chain lights that were much too high for me to reach. As I left the bathroom to return downstairs, I started to run toward what little bit of light I could see and ran directly into the corner of a doorway and put a terrible gash in my eyebrow and was quickly covered with blood. My parents heard my cries and came to see what had happened and took me directly to the doctor. I had to have 5 stitches to close the wound. That same night a long cord was run from the pull-chain light, down the stairwell and was in easy access for future use. But, that did not cure my fear of the dark.

I used to lie in bed at night and wonder what was in the closet or just outside the door. I imagined all the negative things that a child’s mind could conjure up and it was not until my Mom asked me to close my eyes and tell me what I saw, that I began in a small way to understand the true meaning of darkness, as far as my fear was concerned. Knowing that I was not afraid in the afternoon with my eyes closed, I  seemed to get a bit of a sense of comfort in hearing that there was nothing to fear when I was alone in the dark. But still for years there lingered a sense of some remnant of that childhood fear.

Have you ever asked yourself what it is that prompts your personal fears? Perhaps it is the unknown. It may in fact be the feeling of being alone, without support or love. Fear can come in many forms and be both relative and subjective to our condition. In other words it is sometimes, or even most times,  connected to what is taking place in our immediate state of affairs…. our situation in life at present. Have you noticed that during times of absolute joy, while surrounded by family and friends that you love and that have supported and shared with you, that you feel little fear. It is during those moments that we are least likely to feel that we are walking alone or feel deserted, being left to our own resources or strengths. It is during the times that tragedy hits, or when life events turn toward the unbelievably uncertain or perhaps even when temptation is at its worst, that we feel those twinges of fear. It is this fear that we most often feel we must face alone; rather lost in our inability to feel even the presence of God’s love surrounding, supporting and uplifting us.

I have memories of a story, some time ago, of a small child whose parents were in a terrible car accident. The car in which they were driving drove off the road, through a guardrail and over a cliff, landing on a rocky beach. The parents died in the accident, but the child, a little girl, was only badly bruised and was able to get out of the car and sat on a rock on the shore, near the car, for many, many hours until the accident was discovered and the little girl was taken to warmth and safety. When asked how she remained so calm and did not run off and become lost, she calmly stated that a person came to hold her hand and had kept her company while she waited. Can we either accept or understand the idea that we are never alone? We who claim the name of Christ, who endeavor to live lives in tune with what God would want and in so doing worship Him who has given us life not only in eternity, but in fullness, now struggle to do so in the worst of times unless we have love to guide us.

That is a most difficult reality in which to live. Because of sin that surrounds us and the weakness of the flesh, we find ourselves relying on what we are, in relation to our personal strengths and who we identify ourselves as, in terms of family, community and personal reflection. We most often stand on the strength that we are expected to have, and while in some cases these feelings can boost our desire to overcome, many other times they may lead to self-doubt, anxiety and worst of all fear. This fear tries to tell us that we are alone, that no one can or would understand. It is then that our faith can slide and we may cry out; “O God, where are you now?” While this cry may have credence in its inquiry, it does lend itself to the furtherance of our despair if we cannot hear God’s voice in answer to our plea.

It is that darkness that is the worst. It is this darkness that can cloud judgment, confuse the issues or even turn us away from the path that normally we would desire to travel… that toward God and not away from Him. Listening to our hearts rehearse the words of Scripture that tell us, “Fear not, for I am with you, don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will build you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10) may not even always help us to turn the corner away from fear, and back toward the light of peace unless we have love to surround us... the touch of love that begins to heal the broken spirit.

There is little we can understand about God outside of the Scriptures, books on Biblical study and the revelation of what and who God is to not only those in Scripture, but for us today. Many today ask questions about His relevance to our times and if He really exists for today’s people and spend too much time in the relevance of who they are today and not enough on whom we will be in eternity. Hence the fear comes when our focus on the Giver of Life begins to pale and turns our hearts toward the emptiness of life’s cup and the fertile ground in which more fear grows. It is hard to lean on a God we cannot see, yet it is the only way to realize true faith. Faith is not possible when we try to focus on what we see, it is only possible when we focus on that which we cannot see.

Fear of the dark comes then in many disguises and can follow us throughout our lives. It comes as life changes take place, as we age and note the inescapable mortality that is ours as humanity. It is there as we face everything from unemployment to health issues, to daily life events that harbor thoughts of the great unknown and how it will affect our life and our future. Perhaps the key is not found in our ability to face the fear, but in our ability to remember that we are never alone. As we walk through this life maybe we can practice, during the good times, that ability to see the love that is there before us and be reminded that it does not disappear when our ability to see and feel its presence with us may seem to disappear. It may only be then, after practice, that we will have a partial glimpse of what God is constantly doing in relation to His relationship with us; His presence and love is with us no matter the time or the place… He is always there. Love is always the key; love of others, love of the life we have and most of all, love of God. God looks first at our ability to love in that order, far more than we realize. We must learn to live loved.... loved by God!
 

Fear of the dark may really be fear of the darkness in our human hearts, found in doubt and a previous experience of being alone in the human context to face fear alone. Take a walk in the other direction over the next few days. Walk towards God, looking for how He has affected your life with all the joys you know in family, friends and surroundings. Take stock of the many blessings and spend little or no time on the disappointments. Be reminded that you breathe because He gave you life and let go of that which may confuse the issue of His love. It will mean walking near the edge of your faith, but it may have an effect on your life, lending a new sense of joy, peace and hope, even when the world may be telling you otherwise.

Searching for the "New" in the Coming Year

I would like to know how many times I have decided that I would become a new person, a better person; more aware, more caring and more capable, that I might make a difference in the world. The hardest part of trying to make oneself into something better is found in the old adage; “Take 2 steps ahead and you find yourself 3 steps back”. It has taken me a lifetime thus far to figure out how to overcome those objects that keep getting in the way and even then I am not always as successful as I would wish to be. I have been accused of seeking power, the spotlight and even putting myself ahead of everyone else, so that I could get ahead. I remember trying so hard to present myself as someone who could help a congregation, only to be told that I was a power monger and that I would only use that church as a stepping stone to some greater potential down the road.

What becomes the hardest to accomplish, is to identify the real problem behind the obstacles that get thrown either in your way, or at times even in your face. Have you ever started out with the greatest and best intentions only to find yourself used, or even used up, by those you wanted to help? It happens. Not all the time, but from time to time. When it becomes a pattern, you really need to stand back and ask the deep questions about life, hope, practice and then faith.

To become new with a purpose takes more effort than most can ever imagine. It seems like it should be so simple just to remake yourself. Ask someone who is trying to lose a few pounds, or change the direction of a deteriorating relationship… or how about those who have, for whatever reason, lost their way and the world has either condemned them or perhaps the judgment they face everyday overwhelms them, before they get to put their best foot forward. To reconstruct a life that has flaws, fallen into decay or to even decide that there must be a better you that can make a difference, can be a most trying and overwhelming task.

I think back over the stories that were read to me as a child. One of those that I found most confusing and challenging was that of one of the judges in the Old Testament… Samson. Have you heard of him before? He was a strange sort of person that God chose to use to portion out His judgment in a manner that most would qualify as extraordinary, if not totally senseless in light of how we expect Him to work His will. Samson did some great stuff, but he lived like there was no tomorrow, like the only thing in life was his own satisfaction. In the end it caused his downfall, but gave him the opportunity for God to show his power in judgment for the wrongs of His people.

In the New Testament is another curious example, when really considered in the fullness of the story, and that is the person of Saul of Tarsus, who became Paul the great missionary and theologian. Saul a devoted Jew was set to exterminate the Christians, but when confronted by Jesus, he changed. You see, here are two examples of characters who struggled with who they had become, what they were and wanted to make a change for the better… One died in the process and the other died because of the process, but both became people used of God, because they died to themselves. This is no easy concept but rings true even in the everyday life of those who want change and are willing to die to themselves, their emotions, their cravings, their mediocrity. They want to step forward with a new perspective, new desire and stand outside of themselves to gain the goal they desire to attain. And the cost is great! No matter the decision made, the cost is always far more than you could have imagined.

It is because of the realization of the enormity of the cost and the inability for some to push through the barriers they face, that so many tend to fail… perhaps we all do far more than we realize, in one way or another. To become new is more often a dream, than a reality for most. Let’s take those New Year’s resolutions that crop up this time of year. Too often we find ourselves unable to continue; wanting to, is so different than the actual stamina needed to carry it off. Maybe resolutions have become fads, that though well intentioned, become just another attempt at keeping up with others. We most often have to internalize these things before we undertake them if we are to succeed.

So I want to become new again. Maybe what I mean is that I want to be renewed. Some time ago I saw and then posted a cartoon that showed the cartoon character Tigger and he was saying; “I want to bounce again!” Maybe that is where I stand in my retirement, though retirement has not made me sedentary and useless. It has given me time to review, regret and try hard to pray through those things that are not the highlights of my life. So, I guess  what I want is to be renewed. The best part of faith is that we serve a wonderful God who not only forgives as we confess those shortcomings (just like he did for David, Peter and Paul from the Scriptures) but who renews and rebuilds for greater paths, greater blessings toward a greater work for Him. Is that too much to bite off, too great a wish to consider, too much for a God who took a Prince of Egypt into the wilderness only to bring him back after 40 years so he could lead His (God’s) people out of captivity and head them towards the Promised Land? I think not.

Maybe some who are reading this, if you have gotten this far, want a renewal in your life too. I have only one message for you today….. You will never succeed on your own strength, will and ability. I have written this before, but it is worth a re-mention. It is only when we die to ourselves, our own natures, wants and personal vision of what should be, that we can actually attain what God wants us to become. Sound hard? You can bet your bottom dollar it is! So why do we fail so often…. Is it just the self that gets in our way? No… it is also satan! He is out there to remind us every day that we can’t do it, even if we have God on our side. All this while he is convincing us that we need to do something altogether different. Lies that influence our hearts, minds and lives come not from a God that tests, but from satan who will use whatever means to break us down and turn us back onto the old track.

So  as you sit down and consider your coming year and those things that you want to remake, redo and renew… consider first where God is in all of that decision making process. I am trying to do that daily. It is not always easy, as I too can crumble under the weight of obligations, natural repercussions of daily sin that may even be committed unknowingly, along with the daily grind of trying to breathe for Him… He breathed the breath of “life” into me… I want to be continually aspirated by the Holy Spirited, so that every breath I take is by His grace and for His blessing.

May your take on the “new” that you have in mind, include what God wants first… it is part of moving toward the edge and my oh my… what a view from there. It may just change your perspective or the outcome you desire. May the Lord richly bless the coming year for you and yours!

The Gifts of Christmas

We don’t have to think too hard to remember our most precious Christmas or even our most favourite Christmas gift. I read a note that was written to a friend of mind this morning about one such article in her life… that very special Christmas and that very special gift.  Each year millions of children gather around Christmas trees all over the world and open those wished for items that appear on Christmas morning. But do all children get what they wished for? No sadly, not all children are so fortunate. Many go without for reasons as varied as they are many.

Every Christmas we were reminded that there were so many who were not as fortunate as we were, in one way or another. One year in particular I had asked for an item that was very unlikely to be received. I can’t remember if I wrote a letter to Santa or not, but I did mentioned it to my Mom and I wished every day that I might get what I so hoped to receive. There on Christmas morning was what I had wanted… or was it? You see I had asked for a sword! Simple request eh! No, not all requests are simple or simply understood, either by the person requesting or the person granting the request. So it was that what I found happened to be a beautifully carved sword made from a swordfish's sword. Yup! That is what it was alright! The moment I opened that gift I was surprised, yet my heart sank. It was not something that I could swing around and hack at branches with, fight off vicious pirates and defend some fair maiden while in combat with her enemy. It was in fact only a decorative piece that would one day become a symbol of the love that my Mom had for me in giving me such an important part of local history.

The man we bought fish from was a particular friend of ours. He came from a town nearby and visited every week and on some days stopped and chatted over a cup of tea. Mom had asked him about a swordfish sword for me, just to have to play with and he brought several that Dad tried to cure and prepare, but to no avail, they all rotted and became more than nasty! He one day told Mom that he could get a real sword made by a local craftsman that lived quite near us and so it happened that he delivered, just before Christmas, this very special item that has become a real treasure in my life. It was not what I expected, but something that became so precious indeed.

Gifts come in all shapes and sizes and down through the years I have disguised them as churches, roosters and Christmas sleighs. I have weighed them down with cans of tomato juice and one year with even a brick and a piece of railroad track… in fact it made the gift so heavy that I nearly strained my back trying to get it off the table, about 20 years ago. I have become more practical of late and perhaps that is not always a good thing. And, my wish list has changed drastically too. I get more interested in the quiet reflective moments, even though they are hard to get. So I spend time trying to prepare my heart and mind, looking for the joy, in why this all came about. Not the presence of family directly, but the presence of the Christmas Season and how it affects us as family. Have we prepared our minds, hearts and our lives for this annual event with the right wishes and the correct expectations?

I try to be reminded every day of the value of what took place on that first Christmas. But do I stop enough to consider and reflect on that “very special” eve in history really? A friend reminded me that so often we put our best foot forward for a few weeks at Christmas, choosing, wrapping and distributing gifts, only to go back to the business of life in January and put away the lonely, the forgotten and at times those special friends that only become important enough to visit, during the Christmas season. A sad statement but one that rings true more than we like to admit.

So it was on that first Christmas Eve in Bethlehem town. A people waiting for a savior were told that what they had longed for had arrived, and though eyes turned to a little child in a lowly manger, he was not what they were expecting. What did they want? They wanted a king among men, who would deliver them from the tyranny of those who cared not for their lives, but only their money and what they could provide in slavery and trade. So while the angels sang of the Saviour’s birth, and shepherds left their fields to see this miracle, the Son of God fell short of their expectations and life returned to its drudgery, and high expectations became disappointments. They could not see the true value of what God had given them… so many today are in that same place in life… they can not see; as they can not understand that God’s love was so great that He came; “Emmanue”l, meaning God with us and dwelling among us.

So many gifts are also opened and then forgotten. A popular thing to do today is “re-gift”. "Why", some would say. Well, we receive things that serve no purpose in our lives, having no real value to us and so as a matter of course we either discard them or we give them to someone who may be able to use them with thanksgiving and appreciation, being able to use them where we did not. Is that what happens to the “Greatest Gift” of all? Do we shuffle through the traditions that may have belonged to parents, grandparents, guardians and our communities and use them as a sort of celebratory cover for our desire to just have another party? I pray not. Christ was the “final gift” that came with strings attached, conveyed from the Old Testament and confirmed in the New Testament. God’s people must humble themselves before Him and in doing so attach themselves to him with life, desire and obedience in all we do. Yet He came as a free gift to those who would accept Him. Giving our lives is not easy. Always desiring to go and do what He wants of us in not always easy, and total obedience is impossible. So it is a no win situations, right? No… Not At All! In this little child wrapped in cloths and laid in a manger was LOVE BOTH ETERNAL AND PRESENT. When we accept this gift (like opening one on Christmas morning) we may sometimes feel disappointment, as He was not what we were expecting, because we do not always fully understand what it is that we have done… we only know that He is a gift.

There are so often still the challenges that both alarm and disappoint us, but when we have Christ he is always there. When we confess our shortcomings, our sins and our fears, He loves us even more and forgives, because the Christ Child became “The Christ”, the "Sacrifice for our sins". We do not use God as our trump card, our get out of jail free card or our MasterCard to all wealth and prosperity, but we have assurance that when we do fall and call out to Him, He hears and picks us up again into His loving arms and shields, heals and restores.

My wish list this year includes new eyes to see the face of Jesus before I see anything else, new ears that I may hear His voice as he speaks direction, affirmation and peace into my life, and a new readiness to respond, go and do so that I will be His voice, His hands and feet in this world. I owe a debt that I cannot pay and He has paid a debt that He did not owe… just for me. The gifts of Christmas are not simple, they are complex, yet not so complex that we cannot accept and then once accepting, hold them close and dear to our hearts. They grow richer, more important and life giving as we hold them dear. Walk over to the edge of the manger and take a long look in…. do you see Him looking at YOU?… Being near the edge here may just change your perspective on life.

I wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Blessed New Year!

The Historical Drift

There will be lots of images that may come to mind when considering what I have entitled my thoughts today I am sure. As time rushes by there are changes that come, not matter how hard we may fight against them. Years ago I watched my Dad changing from a dynamic thoughtful individual to someone who seemed to struggle with maintaining the connections with the surroundings that he had known and loved for years. Oh, he still had the ability most times, to quote from memory tucked away back there, a poem or two, but he was not the same man that led meetings and made important decision some 30 years previously. Perhaps you have watched someone you have loved or admired, begin to stand a bit further back from the center of things, especially decision making opportunities, yet they would cling to their opinions with a tenacity that was either still admirable or equated a just plain out of date thinking!

It is so easy to get caught up in the moment of evaluating others and forget to evaluate ourselves. Take for instance myself and my story, as I continue to go off to meetings at one level or another. I sit and watch most times, I listen to the debates, the challenges confronting the committees and am amazed at the various levels of dialogue that enters the area of discussion. It becomes easy to identify the various personalities, the levels of education, the environments surrounding their history and the levels of experience from which they draw both facts and conclusions. There is also present the dynamic of age and the presence of “Historical Drift”.

Age can modify our ability to accept change. The strange thing about it is that we know we are aging, we know that we appreciate what is and know that change is inevitable. But we are not as interested in having change for the sake of change, even when it is becomes a necessary evil to maintain both healthy and growing living conditions for the community or culture. There can be a fine line of definition here as to the how’s and the why’s, but for the most part we, as we age, will begin to fight change… anything that moves us out our comfort zone. It can be as major as a new Medical Centre located away from where it used to me, to the restructuring of waiting room with different and less inviting furniture at our accountant’s office.

   

Historical drift on the other hand is subtle in both its existence and its debilitating undermining of our ability to see the pitfalls that begin to appear in both structure and vision. If you want to put a definition to the label, it might be most easily visualized as a perhaps a boat sitting at mooring in the harbour. The owner has had the mooring for years, has sailed to and from that site hundreds of times and is comfortable with it…. There is no need to move it; yet through the years several things have taken place that have made it either no longer viable or safe to use. First, natural wear and tear from tides, wave action during storms and other naturally occurring environmental stresses have weakened its ability to function as it should. Second, there has been a subtle movement of the mooring during winter ice conditions, combined with storm stresses while the boat was moored there, that have moved the mooring slightly each year closer to underwater dangers, never noticed, never calculated really, it just happened. Historical drift is like that in our personal lives… subtle changes come as we get used to doing things a certain way, expect things to respond in certain ways, handle values, vision and the everyday issues of life being lived in a certain, unchanging way, that cause us to lose track of the “track” and the momentum needed to keep the business of living both contemporary and relevant to the times and issues. There is a difference.

I want to be contemporary, but it is a new playground for each following generation. Just like I can no longer go to the gym and play badminton like I did 40 years ago, so I can no longer expect to keep abreast with the young players in the foreground of industry or commerce. I can still evaluate the game, but I can’t seem to grasp the need to change the plays needed to get to the acquired results. I can name all the great players of the past but I don’t want to leave them dangling while newer, more seemingly skilled athletes dazzle the crowds and break the old established records of the past.

And relevance is a battle every day. When you begin to feel that you are no longer relevant to the issues, or even worse the arguments being proposed are not relevant to the issues at hand, fear creeps in and we try even harder to make the point that everyone seems to be missing; “That is not what we have always done!”; only to hear the wisdom of youth retort; “And it didn’t work before so why try it again!”

My heart cries out with both anxious fear and quiet frustration lots of days now. I guess I wanted to expect that things would change. It may seem odd, that statement coming from an aging warrior who has been considered the radical for too many years. But I have always wanted change! From an early age I was fighting the Historical Drift that I saw present in life and wanted to see new growth, potentials that lay dormant for years to now spring into blossom and make what could be, come to fruition for our communities, our businesses and our futures. I tried to herald the cry; “Not just the youth of tomorrow but the youth of today!”, that families now present could cling to the hope of a better tomorrow, based on the growth seen today. Frustration with self, boredom with constant division when unity is the only answer, and too many NO’s! Too often the nay-sayers out-shout the let’s-doers or how-toer’s… especially when change is pending. I will never forget the voice of a man who has made millions and told a small group meeting one day of his key to success. “I got tired of committees to plan meetings, meetings to establish plans, plans to do research and viability through studies on viability and sourcing and so I moved to make change myself… I figure that if you are not motivated to motivate beyond the planning stages you are not motivate toward change! We can talk ourselves into the next century but what we need is to stop talking and start doing!”

So today I am wondering if I am caught in my own Historical Drift and am clinging to an effort that may be better managed by the younger, more energetic youth who are both contemporary and relevant to today’s needs and methods. I like my friend and so many others, who chat along the streets, are tired of committees meeting for the sake of meeting, and getting nowhere.  I don’t want to sound cynical, but am I becoming that way as part of the “Drift”? I have a long list of dreams and wishes and they all still include change and growth, but am I stuck in a puddle of broken dreams and becoming what I feared in others down through the years?

Today, at least, I want to find a modicum of relevancy! I want to maintain a sense of entitlement to speak and if I can muster more than a futile effort of engagement, I may be able to pull off a few tidbits of wisdom without a lengthy diatribe on how it used to be, over against that which it can be, while giving insights on how it can be accomplished, with some visible level of contemporary input. The key may be, for me anyway, the ability to listen toward evaluation. I am learning that evaluation doesn’t have to be a critical process of study and reporting; it most often becomes, when you are part of a group dynamic, the integration of your personal opinions and perceptions into the process being developed. It may be simply the further engagement by the group on your personal insights, when they move towards critical analysis and into a plan of action. When that is no longer is the case, I may be adrift in the drift…. Let’s hope I can be aware enough to notice that does take place and brave enough to step aside so that younger, more energetic voices can take up the tasks… Or… am I there already and am not self-aware yet? Hmmm!

So this is another trip towards the edge. Some may think that these journeys are too complicated, the issues are too deep, but for those who are living the exercise and who want to know they are not alone or need to evaluate their own processes a bit deeper, maybe this rant will give you further fodder to consider. May you be blessed as you stride each day toward the edge, or like me, for whatever reason choose to live there,  and my your perspective find focus away from the normal to just left of where you are… just outside the box… it may be close to the edge… but the view from there can be astounding!

In All Things Give Thanks

   

Family Gathering 1

I can remember as a child my parents trying to remind me that no matter the situation, always find something good in it. Well as a small fry I had trouble getting my head around such a huge concept as that. After all, there were some huge things going on and not many of them seemed worth y of much gratitude. It is a long story that has been told before, so I will not bore you with the details, but only remind you that in each of our memories there may be those moments where we just could not understand. I get glimpses of that even in life as it is today.

It is fun to watch grandchildren growing up and yet there is also the harsh reality that they too must go through the up and downs, the hardships and disappointments that make up life and they will not always understand either what it is that they are learning or the concept of finding a ray of light that will give them a signal that all is going to be OK… they will survive the minors and most of the majors, no matter the pain along the way. But, too often we allow ourselves to major in minors!

Family Gathering 2

This has been Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. For some the traditions lead to a deeper devotion to thankfulness by the sheer knowledge of the harvest season. Families gather and with the bounty of North American Society shared the wealth of foods around tables of plenty.  Laughter and light banter becomes the joy of getting together. For some it is the opportunity to hear about the adventures, plans and escapades of daily life over the past year; it may have been a year since seeing each other. Others gather for the sheer joy of both family and extended family and over a meal, around campfires and the usual afterglow of conversations, as broad as they are diverse… they share both love of life and the everyday experiences of child raising and work’s challenges.

Levon's Birthday as well.

Some of you will know that our son Benjamin had a brain tumor removed a couple of years ago. This spring he got a report back from an MRI (brain scan) that was stated only as being acceptable. That left him and his family hanging.  In the meantime he and his wife found that they were to expect their second child next spring… A wonderful bit of news for grandparents… but it became an overload of extra concern for Ben. Not wanting to hear bad news, he waited out the time till his next test and was now been given the news that there has been no regrowth (a great sign) and that is excellent. It was originally diagnosed as a low grade cancer and we know that just the word cancer alone can add fear and anxiety to a life… It was such a joy to see a real smile over the weekend. For this I am truly thankful… both the smile and the news warmed my heart.

Yet, into every life come those extra stresses that arise, over which we have no control. For my wife and I it has been the extra use of our car as a truck so I could do some work for family and friends. This weekend as we arrived some hours away from home to visit family over the holidays, we found that our car was making a very different noise. Being a diesel, that can mean a variety of things. With a sinking heart I considered going home to await an answer from our local mechanic. But, as we were already there, our children ferried us around to the various events and we put the car troubles to the back of our minds for the rest of our stay. On arriving home the diagnosis was something more than minor and the car needs some major engine work at a dealership garage an hour and a half away.

It is so easy to let your heart sink and mine did just that. My mind puzzled over the worry of getting to the jobs I have on the go, the time needed to get the car to the dealership, their time to repair it and the transportation back and forth to both deliver and retrieve the car after it has been repaired. I know that this bump in the road is just one of those things that has to be faced, accepted and put behind us, but what of the finding  that small bit of joy for which to give thanks. I am like that little boy who when faced with that which cannot be altered, when disappointment reigns supreme, my joy gets shaken and to a certain degree, trampled on, by some level of sadness and anger which I dare not carry.

I remember well the words of wisdom I would impart to our children years ago. “In 6 months’ time this will all be behind you and forgotten.” Well, perhaps not forgotten, but at least dealt with and filed in that place of “acceptance and get on with life!” It was good to hear those same words quoted to me this morning, as I recounted the news from both the local mechanic and the far away dealership. I need the time to sit and put everything into its proper perspective from time to time and that was what I had to do. The car is but a mechanical fixture that will always need both maintenance and replacement at some point… that is a matter of truth and fact. At some point we either make the decision to trade or repair and in this case, the most expensive repair will still be cheaper than replacement and well maybe the engine and the rest of the car will go another 7 years and 300,000 kilometers. LOL So, what is there to be happy about? Well… it was no accident that caused the turmoil; it was wear and tear, high mileage and the years of use. The driver and passenger are alive, safe and reasonably well, considering the indigestion all this caused. LOL

So I look back to my childhood and the childhood our own children, and I am reminded that there is both meaning and truth in that Biblical directive… “In all things give thanks!”  Walking through life is not always about great adventures, it may oft times be just walking among the challenges that may try to trip us up and shake our faith in what God has for us each day. I am reminded that being able to survive the minors give me more ability to overcome in the majors, because I am not alone. Being alone is what we feel some times, but we are never alone. God is there and when the time is right He shows us His grace, but He also expects us to rely on Him, even when we are busy carrying the burden ourselves. Who else gets us through the fog of our emotions? I know… humanism and philosophy will record a different answer, but I pour out my heart to more than theory… I pour my heart out to He who created and He who sustains. He is my rock and when I get near the edge, like I did this morning, I need that rock so that I can change my perspective from where I am, to what really is… just another bump in the road and in 6 months I will have forgotten my momentary pain and anger.

I pray that today you will find a reason to be thankful and with a thankful heart approach each event, trial and circumstance with the “Rock of Ages” so that after the momentary shock of the disappointments have drained your soul, you will allow to God fill you up again. You need Him to get you through no matter comes your way. May your life be blessed with smooth roads and gentle hills, but if not, may you be blessed with a faith in the God of Love who is always there to get you through… He will add that different perspective…. That I know full well!