Well, it is officially 6 days away now. This past week has been a real challenge, as there have been various last minute arrangements to make and things being thought of that needed to be added to to-do lists, along with placing items where the final packing can be calculated and done. It is no easy task and I am so glad that Karen is here to ask the big questions like, “Have you contacted the insurance company yet?” or “Do you want to take one small bottle of shampoo or several small ones?” While seeming like trivia in some contexts the later may have just as much bearing on the outcome of the trip as the previous question. Ha! It is all in the details.
I digress. You will noted that from time to time, as I challenge myself to the stay on track, that I like to to lend colour to my jaunts through the timing and the elements of what has happened. I do it so that I can remind myself and other interested parties, that there is both reason and method to what we do, as we interact with situations day to day. I hear so many people say, “I am so addle-brained”. I know that is a local saying, but when taking as stated, there is that amazement at the amount of time we scratch our heads and wonder if we are actually making headway or losing ground. Mere confrontation with the complexities of the daily needs and challenges are nothing against the extremes to which we may be called, by situation, family or God.
I guess I am in the midst of the later. This call did not place me in any great stress or jeopardy, yet there have been moments of concern. Three fundraising events were planned, and only one of those was planned as a major thrust with considerable time and organization needed to undertake. It was by my personal request and done by our former ministry team from His Place Ministries. Karen and I thought that if God wanted me on this trip, that He would move the hearts of people and I would go. Two months into the 10 weeks of preparation time given and I still needed over half of the project moneys needed. I did stand in the kitchen one morning and wonder if I would need to wait on the Lord again... it seems like that has been our routine in the years of Ministry in His vineyard.
I had nothing to fear in those few moments, but Satan delights in asking the question, “So where is the promise God made... you are being faithful.... Is He?... you are not halfway there and there is only 2 weeks left!” It isn’t that I was doubting my call to this task, this ministry, this challenge of faith, but.... YES I WAS!!!!... I felt myself being drawn in that short second, to the edge of the situation and being asked to look into the face of the enormity of the task, through my human eyes, not my Spiritual eyes. It was like God reached down His hand and touched my shoulder and said, “Why be thinking about that... you have work to do.... I am in control?” I could not stay there, I had to move on. My eyes turned from the Funds thermometer on the fridge to my Bible and there was no turning back.
Well, it is hard to describe the next week. The days were flying by and we had appointments, responsibilities, illness... as I go a cold, and family needs. My mind has since been on the loss of a fellow member of the teaching team whose wife has fallen very ill and is now in the ICU in Halifax. He had to withdraw and now the extra load of the courses being offered is far from my mind...his personal needs for care of wife and family and her need for the Lord’s love and Grace to sustain her through this moment in time is what is important. And all the while those baby steps, that I was taking in faith (that is what they were really), were the first steps towards a great leap of faith that this trip and ministry will be.
How like life is that? Each day I take those sometimes wobbly steps, not always sure of how I can do it or where they will take me, but certain of this one thing... At the end of the day, when the pathways have diminished and the travels are over, there is our Great God, who had the Great Plan and He is offering a Great Eternity. It takes a great leap of faith to make it work and yet it entails just those baby steps of dependence upon not only what God can do, but what has been accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord already. I see more and more each day that this is not about anything that I am doing, but about the faithfulness to the task to which I am called... it is all about Him... the giver of life, the granter of life, the blessing of life. He is my God.