Back when (“Back in the day of it”) I was just a puppy, there
was so much information to take in. Stuff in the form of names, places and
social structure… Ya, I know, back then I didn't even know what social
structure was, but you soon learned your place in family and life. Those were
different days. The time was mid 1950’s and the 60’s. I likely have shared that
family was a fluid sort of structure that seemed to flow with the needs of
individuals and community. There seemed to be a lot of coming and going in
those days, including within the construct of our direct family. That is just
the way it was then, but we all seemed to survive somewhat intact!
The one more stable area for us was the names of places.
Sitting around the older men, and later to a certain extent the women of the
area, we soon learned all the childhood haunts that became the memories we would
cling to. They would float their way to the surface in later years as I happened
to drive by them on our way home for a visit. “The Rock” was our first special
place. It was nothing more than a boulder the size of 2 car tires piled on top
of the other, but to us it was a tower from where we could survey life and wait
for Dad to come home from work. It was located just over half way between us
and Burns Oickle home on the Ohio Road. That rock shrank as we grew, and it was
finally removed when the new road came through in the late 50’s.
Morine’s Brook, named for someone who I can’t remember, was
one of the landmarks and a place to catch frogs and polliwogs… never large
enough to really fish, but for me it was a whole new world to explore as I made
my way west along its stream toward the river. To the east it ran up into the
Blueberry Hills. Now that held for me a place of mystery, adventure and a
never-ending opportunity for a new quest as the days of summer opened the door
to spare time. You see, those so-called Blueberry Hills were filled with paths
beat down over decades of use, by not
only the ladies and children who roamed the rolling hills for blueberries, but
the deer and before that the moose, who browsed on the young plants and
hardwoods that dotted those barrens during that time. All the paths seemed to
lead somewhere and the adventure was to find where… usually to a wood road or
out to the Ohio Road’s entry point to the hills.
Two massive structures, one man made and the other natural,
were out of the zone of activity for a long time, but oh how they called my
name. Ipicca Mountain was a huge pile of cut granite which I believe was
brought in when mills were being built, so that water could be diverted through
granite raceways to power the mills and so on. Remnants of such a mill could be
seen near this granite pile and that section of the river became one of my
favorite fishing spots. There is now a wonderful set of rental cottages located
near there and I know the owners value both the history and the beauty of the
area.
The other natural structure was the Rock Mountain. It has a
steep incline, but much to our joy it housed an old shed that was for some time
perhaps a radio shack for early two-way radio, used by a cousin who lives in
the area. Back then it had to be a secret adventure to climb the steep incline
to the summit and there pretend that you were at the top of the world. Oh what
a feeling … what a rush. Days spent in exploration between chores and time for
afternoon and evening swims made summers the most exciting time of the year for
us. Life was an adventure and bikes gave us freedom to go further afield and
get there faster to afford us a lot more time to see and do it all.
My Dad came to the point where he needed help every day. My
brother and I took that task on and gave our time and ourselves to see that he
wanted for very little. Putting him to bed at night was for me the hardest
part. He wanted to be so independent and put his pyjamas on by himself until
near his 96th year. We would hold him upright so he could stand to
finish the job and then get him tucked in, in that particular way he liked, and
then with these closing words he would ask, “How long Edwin… how long?” It wasn’t
the fact that he feared the end coming, it was the knowledge that it might go
on too long and he was tired. He remembered home, he told short stories some
nights about special places and he always said, “This is how I started out in
life… in a crib with the sides up… I've gone full circle Edwin!” I tried never
to cry, but would joke those moments away… that is how I handled Dad… I sometimes challenged
his opinions and he never knew what to expect.
One day, as I was asked to give him a bath, I thought that I
would come dressed in snorkel gear. At the last minute I decided not to, but
told Mom about the thought that had passed through my mind. I found out later, I think after
Dad’s death, that she had told him what I had planned and he said that he wished
that I had gone through with my plan, so that we could have had another great
laugh together. Life becomes an adventure and around the corners on life’s trip,
there are so many to be had. Not all of them are comfortable trips, that we
look forward to, but some become necessary and lend us both strength and
stamina, showing us how strong the binds that ties us together really are.
Dad gave us boys a map to the future, but also a link to his
past and that was more than mere paths through the woods. He gave us critical
information that would keep us safe and likely never even realized what he was
doing. He lived the life, from our perspective anyhow, that made sense; one of a
responsible parent, citizen and believer. He wanted to remain true to it all and
held it in balance as far as I could see.
I guess I may never be quite so successful, but I want to have been. We can spend so much time trying to make amends for failures, that perhaps
we have trouble being part of what is taking place now. I guess my path lead me
away, rather than towards stability of place and old haunts. We moved a lot and
my call in life took me away when family life was really more important to them perhaps. But
today I want to spend time with them and I for a time wondered if it would be
more like the popular tune of the 90’s where the son wanted time with the father,
but the dad had not time then. Later in life when that dad had more time and he
wanted to spend time with his son, then the son’s life was busy and he had no
time for his dad. So it is in the circle of life. Here are my Dad’s words to me
back in 2000 after I had moved to a community just 30 minutes from home just 3
years before; “When are you going to move again Edwin?” Rather rattled I
answered, “Why don’t you like having me around?”… His look was sad and he seemed
for a moment longing for an answer, and this is how he finally voiced his thought; “I
figured if you moved away, I might see you more!”
I now walk among those hills, along those brooks and climb those
piles of granite rubble in my mind and realize that one day in the not so
distant future … oh in perhaps 30 years or so, it will be my turn to look back
from a different perspective. I too will have come full circle. The joy of the
journey at this juncture in life for me, as I choose to take time, is the constant
review of the little things that have made the trip thus far worth the taking. I
try also to visualize those moments with mistakes, things I might do
differently and then formulate what may be better done and given, so that my
legacy to them will be as meaningful as that of my Dad to me. God gives us so
much to give thanks for and we need to glance at the clock sometimes and see
where we are on the timeline. No matter the placement in any one given moment,
it holds for us opportunities to make a difference and in so doing we are being
true to what "is life near the edge".
Note: Today has been a nostalgic moment for me in more ways
than usual, as I celebrate another birthday very soon. A few days later my
sweetheart and I will celebrate our 40th year of marriage. She
figures that I owe her for over 40 years of haircuts now, and if I am going to
live to be 100, I will never get out of debt, so I have decided to just keep on
letting my hair grow and see what happens.
Be blessed! I am!
