You have likely heard that it is impossible to fit a square peg into a round hole. Well, some day it seems like I am that square peg. It is not that I don’t fit in anywhere, but I sometimes have a problem with the idea that I always have to fit everyone’s expectations, their mould of how things are to go or be done. Does that mean that I am a Maverick.... well, likely so. I was branded a radical as a young “Lad” a few years ago... Ok, ok, so it was more than a few years ago! I digress ( I am known for that as some of you will know)... which comes naturally for me.
It has been a stretch for me.... this new ministry. I was used to the layed-back style of rural ministry and as my friend Wayne told me, “You are not in Kansas any more Toto!” It is a bit of a culture shock to have so many needing so much .... ALL AT ONCE! But my moto has always been “one day at a time.” Now, I have to try to get it down to one item at a time as well. Things can bunch up on you, if you are not watching carefully. Since I am not as organized as some, .... Ok for all you Nay Sayers out there.... I am doing much better... thank you very much.... it takes me a tad longer to get to the mark some days, but I make it. Karen knows that my mind works in mysterious ways... more of a mystery to her most days than she would like I am sure.
So I have been kinda struggling of late. It may be due to the confusion of the move, it may be the boxes still unpacked, it may be that my new office in the home is a bathroom (no... it doesn’t have the fixtures... it barely has walls) or it may be that the idea of getting everything all done and in shape, is a daunting prospect for me just now, as I begin to think about going off to India again in February 2010.
So, am I a square peg, I wonder some days? Is it necessary for me, or anyone for that matter, to always meet some criteria which seems to be the image for the day, created in society for our family or fellowship circles. I know that my new Church Family seems very open to my newness for now, but will that continue I sometimes wonder. I am not the usual type of Pastor that is for sure!!! I come with a lot of varied experiences and some of those may lead people to think that I have answers, which I may or may not have,... but it is another slot! I love to help and that often leads to more expectations, more slots to fit into as people learn of my past .... does that mean that I should keep my past hidden? No, but it does mean that I have to be ready to examine the needs with wisdom and God’s direction before I overload my time ... or the time spent away from Karen, my family and the Church. Quests for my time often come from outside the Church and I am cautious not to tread on what I must do, in direct competition with what I am asked to do.
I guess the only slot I need really worry about is that of my faith. If I ask God everyday to give me that which He desires for my life, the strength, courage and gifts to carry it through, then I am fitting the right slots for which I am prepared and moulded by His Spirit. Each day carries with it a new set of experiences,... most are such a joy, but a few come with their own sadness to face and pray through. That is why we have such a wonderful God, who has given us a wonderful Christ, who brought such great joy at His Birth... to give us the confidence and strength to carry on each day.. on into eternity as we place our faith and trust in Him!
I wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a Wonderfully Happy New Year. May your slots be made for you and the joy of service bring a comfort and joy to your lives. Remember... “Living near the edge is not bad, it has moments of testing, moments of required courage and moments of extreme joy... It's all in how we define the view from there.”