I suspect that most of us have been in that situation where
it seems like we have gone to bed in a rose garden, only to awaken in the midst
of some forsaken briar patch with all the prickly thorns finding an opening anywhere
available to inflict their painful presence. Well, that may be overstated, but
you likely get the essence of my meaning. Things don’t stay the same for very
long and some days the most unexpected pops up to change the course of our lives
and interrupt the calm demeanor of our state of mind. Some might say that is
“Murphy’s Law” and no I am not referring to an old acquaintance by that name
should he be reading this. It means that if something bad is going to happen it
will happen to me. But, most often it is just a matter of happen-stance;
circumstance that just happens when life spins on its own path and beyond our
control. There are some that will argue that bad things happen when we are not
in communion with God as he decrees. I beg to differ on that argument. I have
known too many instances where bad things have happened to good people who love
the Lord with all their hearts and serve Him to the best of their ability. We
tend to forget that Satan is at hand in the world, and he casts his net to drag
in whoever will be caught, while in the fog of doubt, or who are often under
the influence of pain, sorrow and often even misinformation.
There is never a good time for most things that “crop up” in
a negative context in our lives. We may tell ourselves that we are prepared, or
at least have done our best to steel ourselves against the worst that may come,
but it is folly to assume that the reality of change, in its worst scenarios,
can just be shrugged off and we can continue on with life, while dealing with earth-shattering
problems at hand. Over the past few
weeks my family has dealt with a grave illness of a dear Aunt and now the death
of my dear father-in-law, who had gone
to the city for what was to be only a minor operation. Granted, he was 90, but
the expectation from most of us was that he would have his surgery and, as
stated by the surgeon, return home the next day.
Things do not always happen according to plan. I was ambling
along at just daybreak… I was in my late teens at the time. I approached the
brow of a hill and looked at the steam rising from a picturesque lake stretched
before me. A sloping grass covered lane that I had traveled on, made its way
downward toward the lake. With sunrise awakening my senses, it was like a
mystical garden, a beauty that is difficult to describe, which lay before my
eyes. The forest on each side of the lane was not dense and from out of its
cover walked 2-3 deer. OK… yes, I was deer hunting. It was my first time, without
the company of my Dad. Now a hunter’s first inclination is to raise his gun,
take careful aim at the most desired deer and pull the trigger. Well… that was
not to be. I watched the deer eye me with gentle curiosity and then amble off
into the under-brush, opposite the entrance they had made. It was not a short
hesitation for them. They stood there perhaps a few minutes and as a young
hunter I just stood there mesmerized by the site of their beauty and the
natural state of freedom they were enjoying. So… what did you do you are
asking? You likely have guessed by virtue of my description. I unloaded my rifle
and walked that long lane, several miles back to the vehicle, and never went
deer hunting again. So now your reflection might be, ”Did I miss something here?”
No! I, as it sometimes happens, have now digressed.
That feeble attempt at a long rehearsed memory, much shared
with my children, still haunts me to this day. It does not fall in the same
category as perhaps an unexpected death, but reminds me that not everything is
according to plan. My intention that day was to finally become an experienced
hunter, providing venison for the table, but that didn’t happen. These are some
of the things that we realize, as we begin to find our footing in life. It
becomes necessary to make mature decisions based on our particular nature, the
direction of our psychological preferences and resign ourselves to the fact
that we must deal with those quick unexpected changes in our own way. It is not
necessary for us to either defend our personal perspectives in all matters, or be
forced to make decisions based upon someone else’s ideals. Cough, cough! I know
that was a mouthful. Here’s the skinny on that thought. Sometimes I just need
to sit down and have a good cry. Not a “manly” thing to do some might say. But
I have to, in my own personal way, release my burden of pain, so that God has
room to work on my soul. It matters not to me, at this juncture in life, what
the world may think of that odd sampling of courage, that such a “world-defined
weakness” demands. Yes readers, I am admitting that I do cry from time to time,
when I am overwhelmed and the sadness beyond which I have no control, runs
amuck in my life, or the life of those I love or know. I didn’t cry that day I
watched those deer walk out of sight, just because I forgot to shoot; it was
because my heart said, “How can you harm that beautiful creature?”… And a feeling
of guilt for thinking that I might shoot, not remorse for not shooting, had
crept into my heart.
Ok… now you are wondering; does this soppy wimp eat meat?
Well, yes I do. I even eat deer meat when someone offers me a steak or roast. I
have eaten it as hamburger and the occasional mince pie… so I am not against
its consumption, but my heart is just not in taking their life. That is one of
life’s strange twists, which is better left to another blog… as I smile a
twisted smile of “Oh ya… like that is going to happen!” I digress!
“Can the awful things that just pop into our lives when we
least expect them, be of divine providence?” … One of my students once asked
me. I wish that I had all the answers for people. It would be great to fully
understand our Sovereign God, and be able to bring full insight into every
circumstance of life to all those who fall into the category of inquirers/searchers,
but that is not to be. We are given a day… that day is today and we are not
given a key to the map cabinet, where the great charts of life’s course are stored.
We are the deck hands, the men and women who climb the rigging and trim the
sails at the captain’s command. I am not sure I want to be apprised of the days
ahead, like some would strive to discover. Many there are who favor the
prophetic symbols of the apocalyptic writings and/or some mystic references… Yes,
even striving to add to or more fully project greater meaning from God’s Holy
Word. But the Word tells us that no one will know the day or the hour of
Christ’s return. No manner of prophetic message from those proclaimed “seers”
of contemporary time, will ever fully enable mankind to understand what is
happening, with any more accuracy than merely trying to hazard a guess.
We have much to be thankful for as Christians. No matter the
trial or tribulation of the moment, we are not alone. Our family may be rocked
by news of illness, and then face a death bringing sadness and questions of the
future for our dear Mom, but God has everything in hand… He cares for us... we
just have to allow Him to shelter us from the stormy blast of fear and
discomfort, amidst the assailing of those crushing events. Proverbs 3:5-6
reminds us of that very thing. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean
not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will
direct your paths”. While our hearts are searching for answers to those
questions of, “What just happened here and why?”… God is at work in our lives,
even while we are still reeling from the news of change and apparent disruption
in our life plans. There is no Band-Aid that can just fix a little scratch to
our psyche, like a mother applying a plaster to an abrasion in our childhood.
No… this stuff is for real, and we try to catch our breath and wonder how the
next few moments will become even tenable at the very least.
Those moments are present where we are pushed near the edge.
There is only one tether here, only one true life-jacket available in those
situations. The human touch helps a bit, but it can’t erase the pain of loss,
or our security now unhinged, and the hole that is left, as the void widens in
acknowledgement that this is for real. Some people say; “Whatever doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger!” Well, while there is some degrees of sense, found in this
philosophical prophesy, I still maintain that something is going to take my
life someday, and in the meantime I am still a man with tears in my eyes from
time to time. I am sure happy that I can hear my God remind me that, while I am
weak, He is always strong. I can live there… on that edge… with God beside me as
my (Isa 9:6) …Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of
Peace; while He is also King of King and Lord of Lords. You and I are not alone
through those horrible turns in life, which can leave us spinning and afraid.
God is standing on the edge with us, and can give us a different perspective
from there, if we let Him. Why not ask Him (God) to be there with you today and
always… even when you are shoved unexpectedly to the edge. Be blessed, and I am
praying for you!
