Learning the Language

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times! I didn’t do very well in High School. There were many linking factors, but I will mention only 3. In our family, we were taught that hard work, focused on earning a living and based mainly on 2 secondary, yet essential elements, would make all the difference in life. There was never a long chat about either of these important fundamentals to a successful life, until after I was married. Oh, I got the frequent lecture about dedication to what was right, meaningful and necessary, but not before I had made a choice to follow my heart and not just a mindless dedication to empty adult labour. I left a job that I had had for several years; I was married, had children and a mortgage, which meant responsibilities and that was unforgivable. I later learned that I was seen as a failure in life. Those were harsh words and did nothing to either lift or support one in life’s endeavours. I digress! Those two secondary elements that could be applied were constancy and consistency. It seemed to others that I was perhaps failing in both!

While traversing through my early education, I stumbled along with poor management of my available resources. I nevertheless did make it through, and fortunately, there were those in my educational journey who saw, for some reason, more potential than I did. I have often related that my two majors in school were girls and sports. The girls were never too much of a success in my teen years and sports played a major role until I needed to get a job, which included after school hours that were needed in order to make working worthwhile. So this brings me to the 3 factors, to which I have alluded already, the first being sports, then girls and finally work. I was good at sports, but when work precludes any hope of being available to take part, then that major peters out. Being disqualified from continuing in my advancement in sports and then delimited by the need to work, I lost also ground with girls, until I met my wife to be.

But education was not totally lost on me! What the administration saw in me was an innate ability to take in information and file it for future use. I did, like most people, have deficiencies and mine was the fear of written tests. You probably know, or have heard of someone, who is just like that, maybe you are yourself. The odd thing was that I loved to learn. I read things that most didn’t; I explored science, technology, and my mind was a constant canvas of ideas and possibilities. That by some was seen to be my downfall. I was a radical, a dreamer and would not amount to much. But words, once foreign became of second nature to me and I often wrote both prose and papers on philosophical matters confronting both myself and others in my sphere of experience. Most were eventually burned, as I felt the pressure to perform according to other’s expectations, rather than my own. I was obdurate and lacked focus… I was becoming sanctimonious and obtuse, but I had to learn the language of dissimulation to see through the fog of criticism in order to find my own path. How’s that for a mouth full of academic criticism. I again digress, but with some forethought!

The road to adulthood, and then finally some level of wisdom in old age can be long and arduous, but much can be learned from its passage. In my early pastorates (churches where I ministered) there were three kinds of people. First, there were those who loved to dissect/analyze my messages; to correct miss-pronounced/misused words, correct my use of verb tenses and sometimes Biblical references. These were the teachers, who in their mind would make me a better person/pastor. Second, there were those who loved to chase rabbit paths in their minds, when something early on in the message or study sparked an incident or problem totally unrelated to the meaning or direction of the presentation. These dear folks were the searchers who felt that an answer might be found in questions, about their focus in life, rather than the immediate meaning of what God had for them, to be found in that message they were missing. The last were those who were a combination of several elements, a few being appreciation/love for their pastor, a reverence for the work being done and a desire to be of assistance by joining in the planned strategies to enlarge the Kingdom, as we went about the Father’s Work. The people in the third category were the Disciples of Christ. These categories of people have been present in both my pastoral work and in the administrative tasks both in academia and local government, with different labelling.

So… why the title “Learning the Language”? I have used two elemental examples in my thoughts thus far. One component was a reflection from my youth, where formulation of mind and language don’t seem to have that pronounced importance to most at the time. The second component was a reflection of how I transitioned into adulthood and a particular part of the workplace. We often hear words which inadvertently have double entendre. What is said and meant by the words we speak may often have a totally different meaning to those to whom they are spoken. For example: “It is important to think before you speak!” is an often used soft criticism, but when considered as an association to weakness or deficiency in one’s life, that statement may do much damage! Ok… I know that some are saying that he must be expecting us to tiptoe through life and take note of our circumlocution as well as our intentions, in consideration of the hearer! YUP! It bodes well for us to imagine life as others are experiencing it by times. Learning the language is not just so we know that obdurate is pigheadedness, or becoming sanctimonious is feeling morally superior to others and that word obtuse…well, it means to be insensitive and slow to understand. There is so much more. Insecure persons who already think themselves to be inferior in thought and speech can be crushed by what was not meant to do so.

I am not trying to say that having a good handle on The English language is the most important of our challenges in life, but I am pointing toward a broader perspective on the meaning of language as it affects others. I remember some formal Academic Board Meetings where tempers flared and words were spoken that were neither uplifting nor tolerable, within the forum in which we met. It was my duty as Chair to handle such outbursts and it was always my policy to do so with these individuals in private. Added to this, I most often chose a time and place that may have sometimes been considered by many to be too far-related to the event where the offence had been committed, to be effective. I was not always so prudent, and like most others, I could, in my own worst moments, be found to be worn down and wearied by the indolence/complacency of some, in other venues. We lose our consciousness of the present environment when we allow ourselves to be depleted in our sensitivity to others, not only that but also the veracity of the present. It is too easy to be drawn in by what “seems to be”, rather than spending time in meaningful evaluation, without prejudice, before we react. Even then it is easy, by virtue of our own past, (the environmental circumstances of our life’s path) to be found wanting. To know the difference between what is correct and what seems right in our mind's eye can enlighten a mountain of difference sometimes.

Language is not always oral in nature by any stretch of the imagination. I have mentioned in the past that I suffer from depression. Some of my family members have lectured me for not using drugs to level out my mood swings, and what some will be able to identify as paralysis, by times. I have a plaque (sign) on my wall that has great meaning in my life. It says: “PRAYER- When life becomes too hard to stand, kneel!” It is not just the words… it is the reality of knowing that behind that statement is the truth that I must surrender myself, my self-assurance, my personal strength and obdurate personality to Him who created me and who has the answers. My wife jokingly tells me I talk too much, and my parishioners used to tell me I preached too long. Today, those who call upon me, when needed sometimes to speak in Church Services, will in good fun pull out their pocket calendars and wave them as I begin to preach. I will tell you this with tears flowing down my cheeks that it matters not, because I have always wanted to be what God has planned for me to be, even when Satan has tried to make me become something else. I hear sincere voices from time to time, telling me with such love, that I am the best preacher they have ever heard. This means so little, for my answer has always been; “God gives the message I am only the speaker.” There are so many loving hearts, yet in opposition, there are so many that turn away with unrelenting hearts and minds, that continue to disparagingly condemn both the Word and the messenger.

What’s the language then, you might ask! It is like going into a very foreign country, as I have several times, to lecture and preach. If we enter into “the work” meaning whatever God has for us and we claim the superior position, we have missed the mark. We must present ourselves as Him; His hands and feet, His voice and personhood (though God is spirit and above any human identification, other than in Christ!), meaning His propensities and things that declare His image. I include this portion of Scripture: 1 John 4:7-12.

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

Our ability to walk in love without dissimulation is of primary importance to us, and for the most part we seem to miss the mark. Families are collapsing, lives are being ruined and children are losing hope as the world becomes a “harder”, “looser (more easily lost)”, “faster”, “complicated” and “uncaring” place to live.

These are only a few adjectives that could be listed but are perhaps 5 of the most distressing as I see them. Is there a generation that cannot survive the change? No, I don’t think so, but this somewhat rhetorical question begs the reader to wonder, does it not, if we care about the changing tide? Today, I am walking too close to the edge for my own comfort. I am examining the elements of my own life that have been scrutinized and evaluated due to the roles I have played in life. I don’t like to look back and I mention that because I know the subtle irony of those words my father once spoke to me, “Looking back won’t bring it back!” Moments of regret, along with the pain of knowing the distress I may have caused others when I spoke or acted beyond my intention (scope of strategy), adds sorrow, even today, to my life. Looking back can flood our minds with good and bad memories.

It is then, the language of God’s love, that brings me back. It is the Spiritual medication that soothes my soul and revives my life to tenable usefulness. Don’t get me wrong, there are those who are as fully faithful, trusting and believing as I am, but who still need more, (that God also provides) to help them be whole. That is the most important language one will ever learn. No matter the word, action or deed, God’s love is always there. We may not understand it, we may not realize the depth of it, and we may not always place our full confidence in it, but He “IS” nevertheless always there. Romans 8:38-39:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Today is just another day. I have been challenged by the silence of late and now a “still small voice” has been telling me not just to get up and eat, but be refilled and assured that when God gives, I must once again speak! Remember that we all live somewhere along the edge, but going even nearer there, in search of Him, is worth the walk. And remember too… I am praying for you!!!